Motherhood Archives | Page 2 of 11

My Letter to You

Inspiration, Letters, Motherhood, Parenting, Spirituality

Daughter, sister, friend,

I see you, I know you, I was you. I love you.

I see your struggles, your heartache, your frustrations, your hope. I know you know there is a better way but sometimes you despair of ever finding it.

I see you shopping for groceries, paying the bills, learning new skills, finding time for real talk with your husband, having those challenging conversations with your kids.

I see you in those quiet moments, I feel your determination, your desperation, to find a better way, to make a change, to create a life for your family, that is more, more than you have now, different than you had growing up.

I see you doing dishes, listening to podcasts, reading books, networking on Facebook, going to church, looking for friends, trying to pray.

I see you looking for answers, unsure where to go, where to look, where is safe, who can you trust. I’m here to help you, and I love you.

I know you love your husband, your heart hurts for his struggle, the burden he carries to provide. I know your love for your kids, and all your hopes and fears and dreams for them. I know that deep down you despair of knowing what beliefs you can confidently pass onto them.

I know that education opened your eyes to the world but also burdened you with knowledge, and debt. I know you see things you don’t know how to grapple with. I know you see the effect of the culture and yet you still fall under its sway. It feels like an uphill battle, going upstream with a small paddle.

I know your struggle with technology, with food, with business, with always striving to make everyone happy. I know that church gives you a high of spirit and relationships for a moment but then leaves you empty. I’ve been there too.

I know you feel shaky in your faith and wish you could find solid ground. I know you feel the tug of your soul, your heart lights up when you make and create, and you despair of having enough time for your art, and your family, and your home, and your own well being.

I’m here to tell you that work life balance is not a myth, and that you can change your relationship with every aspect of your reality – time, money, family, faith, kids, marriage, health, self.

And it starts with a transformation of faith. You’re going to rediscover God in a way that is real to you, so real you can feel it in your bones.

God is alive and well and calling us all forward into a new dispensation of his grace. Science is illuminating the spiritual. The divine is revealing itself to us in new and fresh ways.

You can find solid ground, and integration of faith and practice. You can have an understanding, an experience, a faith so flexible and yet solid that you can teach it to your kids.

You can discover your own true power, a power greater than you ever realized you had. And yet that is so truly you and a part of the you that is you, that once you find it, you feel like you always knew it to be true. On a deep level you always knew you were so much more than the shell, the shadow, the small version of yourself, of your life that you’ve been living.

You are more than your past, than your mistakes, than your successes. You are more even than your current hopes and dreams for your future. You are so much more than you can conceive in this moment.

You are beautifully, mysteriously, powerfully good, and strong, empowered and inhabited by the divine energy and wisdom that created the universe, and it’s time to reclaim the truth of who you are.

Your single most important task is this remembering. Your world, your friends, your family, they need you to remember, to recover the forgotten truth of who you are.

Together we will help you remember and recover your identity and through it, your power.

And when you do, I promise you that everything will change.

You’ll do work that makes your heart sing, that doesn’t feel like work, and you’ll have time in the transition for everything.

And as you build your foundation, you’ll retire your husband and teach your kids and pour into others and sit in stillness with yourself. You’ll have time for it all and abundance overflowing.

Because God is here, working in and through and with us. All we need to do is answer the call, be receptive, seek alignment, and expect goodness, love, joy and abundance.

Let go of Resistance, seek Assistance. Your desire is enough.

Let go of your fear, and embrace Faith. Embrace the love that flows into and out of your soul.

We received a tainted religious tradition and a wrecked culture driven by greed and fear, that feeds on the innocent and tempts us into lives of addiction and consumption.

We now declare that this ends here, with us. We will embrace love and the renewing of our minds. We will press into spirit and find our true power. We will learn and grow and thrive and remove our inner blocks. We will fight the fight of our mind and emotions. We will battle resistance and fear and greed.

So that our children can know a different world, can be raised in a lighter, better world, have a deeply empowering perspective on life that allows their generation to create a radically better world that matches the transformation of their inner lives.

We commit to healing ourselves so that our children can start with a fresh perspective, a new paradigm of Spirit and Truth. We align with the divine, all encompassing source of love that is God, and set our intention to embrace the transformation God intends for us, so that our children can be free of our blocks and limiting beliefs, with the freedom to live at a higher level, to partner with God in the ongoing evolution of humanity, the positive moral arc of history.

We now declare that it ends with us. We must rise up, we must meet the challenge, rise to the occasion, fight our own demons, conquer our resistance, embrace our power, and offer healing to the world. In all of this we are not alone, our victory will come through the assistance of our inspired imagination powered by love, we no longer work from a striving placed relying on our own willpower.

As we first heal ourselves and each other we will cleanse the energy of our homes, changing our language and our thoughts, our actions, our emotions. We choose to radically transform our hearts and thus our environments so that our kids can learn a better way at a younger age. They will stand on our shoulders and call us blessed.

They will embody the next stage in human evolution, in the beautiful picture of truth, beauty and grace that the divine in us is calling us forward into.

Reflections on becoming a mompreneur, and plans to homeschool

Homeschooling, Motherhood, My Journey, Parenting

I’m going to homeschool my kids this fall.

Sometimes you get to the point in life where you’re just not willing to do things you don’t feel good about anymore. That was me this past summer and so I quit my job.

And you know what? The world didn’t end. It’s been hard work, the emotional and mental work of switching to an entrepreneurial mindset, and especially of getting rid of limiting beliefs has been intense. But I’ve found I was able to do it, and I did. And it was nothing compared to the prospect of staying where I was.

And guess what I’ve found? When you start listening to your gut, and following your heart, and rejecting the notion that you have to listen to all the external ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ and fears that keep you miserable and stuck – when you’re just not willing anymore, and then you start carving your own path? That’s addictive. I’m discovering my own power. And when you realize you can make decisions and design the life you want, that is a positive addiction of the best kind.

When you chart a path upstream, at first you only see the current that is set against you, but as you gain momentum you find your own strength, as you gain traction and make progress you realize the current carries downriver those who do not exert their own will, but that when you do apply your strength and will, the whole river opens up. It is equally willing to take you anywhere that you determine to go.

You have a unique path. There is destiny inside of you. Do you hear the voice telling you to head upstream? I believe we all have one.

I’m here to tell you to follow that voice. Use your muscles, exert your will, discover your own internal power.

Too many of us are asleep, and do not realize the control we do have, the choices we could make. We are in a box of our own construction, using a handbook that was not written with our best interests in mind. And we have a learned helplessness that tells us we are stuck, when we are not.

This was the year I decided to rewrite my story, chart my own path, follow my heart, pick a new handbook.

And so I quit my job, started my own business, made new friends, hired a coach, took courses, went to a conference on the other side of the country, found clients, journaled a ton (ie. listened to my heart), let my business model morph until I found the right thing for me, started coaching, found new clients, replaced my income in 3 months, got a massage, hired a housecleaner, bought way fewer presents for Christmas, started networking with local businesses, found more potential clients. Next I’m going to get my business stabilized with a good foundation, keep listening to my heart, and prepare to homeschool in the fall. Because now I realize that I can, and my heart is telling me that’s the path for me and my boys.

It’s a process, starting to listen to your heart. You can’t change everything at once.

I have had to choose my priorities. I’ve known for awhile that the first two would be quitting my job and preparing to homeschool.

As far as decisions go, those two have been easy, they’ve been on my heart for awhile. But quitting itself was a clearly defined action I could take and mark down as successful. Creating my own business has been tricker because there are so many options and decisions to make. As I’ve attempted to set professional goals for this year it’s been really hard, I think simply because it’s taking time to be honest with myself. I’m so used to shutting down my hopes and dreams, I’ve got them all locked up deep inside.

You know what brings them out the fastest? Working with clients.

Working with amazing men and women who are ready to do the work, to chart their path in the world, and just need some support.

They are on the same path that I am, and I’ve found that working with them illuminates things in my own heart. Ministering to them ministers to my own soul.

One of my clients is launching a membership on autoimmune disease, to provide her tribe with good information and a supportive community, while giving her financial freedom in the process. Helping her is awakening a desire to start my own affordable membership as a way to start teaching and sharing more content on a topic that is difficult to monetize.

Another client established an online marketing presence, and then when took the time to slow down and listen to her heart, and realized she wanted to spend less time online and on social, and more time networking locally. So we adjusted and created a new marketing plan for this quarter that uses that foundation, but aims her toward her goal of connecting locally and starting a locally based business.

Over the past few months my single biggest privilege has been when I hear my clients get to the point of voicing their big dreams. For the one with the membership, it was quitting her job that’s affecting her health, for a second it was opening her own boutique fitness studio, for a third it is finding marketing clients who are special needs moms with businesses, who are also actively supporting the special needs community. In marketing it can be so hard to niche down, but there is so much power in identifying a group that aligns with your personal mission and serving it with focused effort. For two other clients who are marriage and family therapists, one is a bestselling author who is working toward shifting from a time-intensive personal practice to a career more focused on speaking and teacher. The other is younger and single, is currently leaving her job, and has so many big dreams I’m not sure which one will be first. One is an idea for a podcast that I can’t share because it is her idea to pursue when the time is right. But it’s a big idea that represents a big dream and has a lot of passion behind it.

And working with those two clients have stirred so many big dreams in my heart around speaking and writing, and helping people with emotional and mental aspects of life not far removed from the topic of relationships.

I want to teach my kids to follow their dreams. To be ready to be creative, develop character, serve people, work hard – and then to follow their heart and pursue a big dream. I want them to know that money is neither good nor bad, but simply a very useful, strategic tool to be used to help them live the life they want to create. And that with commitment and dedication, they can make money doing whatever they choose to pursue.

My oldest is 8 ½ and he’s decided he wants to design video games. He’s already using Scratch to learn basic programming skills and create basic video games. He and I have recently started reading Hardy Boys books together, and soon we’re going to also read Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, by Adam Alter. This is a book I read last year that explains the different aspects of video games and how the way they are designed affects our experience. I want my son to understand more fully the effects his games have on him, and to start thinking about how he would craft a game to create the experience he thinks players should have.

Looking back at my formative years, I see that school was not designed to foster my dreams but to prepare me to sit in a box and dutifully float downriver.

I don’t intend to be harsh, I am so incredibly grateful for everything I’ve learned in the past almost 36 years of life. But I have come to realize that there is a whole other way to live life that I have only just started to explore, and that on that path lies my destiny.

This blog this year will be an invitation for you to join me as I head upstream. Although it is uncharted territory, I am going to be learning from those who have trod that path, and sharing my thoughts here with you.

To a glorious, magnificent 2019 that blows all of our current dreams away…

Alicia

For more on my personal journey and thoughts about homeschooling, check out this blog post from earlier this year: Life is not a Classroom

Thoughts from The Third Option and How to Start Working from Home

Business, Motherhood, Parenting

Do you go to the office everyday? Do you stay at home with the kids? I’ve been working part time from home for years and I just read a book that was incredibly validating, informative and challenging all at once. I was researching about virtual assistants and discovered Shannon Miles’ recently released book, The Third Option and read it on my kindle in just a few days.

What I learned from this book is that there is both a massive opportunity for more moms to do what I do, and a better way for me to do it going forward. Companies like Shannon Miles’ Belay Solutions are helping solve the cost of entry problem for moms who want to take more control of their lives, in a way that provides income and professional fulfillment. For those who either aren’t ready to start a business, or perhaps don’t have a desire to, but are looking for a lifestyle change, Shannon lays out a viable third option.

It’s a path I’ve been walking for a long time but have by no means mastered. After 8 years of working from home I would tell you that it is a daily challenge. I continually renew my commitment to take on the dual challenges of staying at home and being a working mom, in order to have the income, and more time with my kids. I also constantly ask myself if there is a better way, and if I would still work if we paid off our student loans.

If you were to ask me if you should pursue making a move toward working part time from home, this is what I would tell you.

Know what you need. Know what you want out of life and why. I’ve read editorials on how working from home gives you the worst of both worlds and sometimes that is not far from the truth. I would tell you to learn from those of us who have gone before, and stand on our shoulders. I fully intend to continue working from home, but hopefully in a more healthy, balanced way in the next decade than the previous one.

This is a counter-cultural decision, which means you need to approach it with conviction and a proactive attitude. Here is what Shannon says:

“What you’ll find is that the best opportunities have to be sought out. They won’t just fall into your lap. The person who wants a Third Option isn’t content with simply taking what’s available. That person knows what they need from life and is willing to create a new way, a new opportunity, to make it happen.”

And this is what she says about how to know if it’s working, if you’ve found the right fit:

“It’s the intangible things that guide us best. You must be happy. You must be present for your family. You must be the best version of yourself.”

If you are considering making a shift to working from home, but are unsure because you don’t know what to expect, you should pick up The Third Option and read it. Listen to the way she talks about the person that you’ll need to be, and the benefits you’ll reap, and the challenges you’ll face.

While her company is actively pushing for more organizations to go fully virtual, I don’t know if that is practical, but then that’s not the world I know. I can’t gauge how much this trend will take over corporate culture in the years to come, but I do see that it is growing as an accepted practice and is increasingly viable as an option to moms with a desire to pursue it. If you need more autonomy, or more income, or an intellectual outlet, and are willing to work hard both to find the right opportunity for you, and then to make it work for your family, that option is there for you right now.

If you know you’d like to work from home, but you’re not sure how to get from here to there, carve out time to start learning about your options. Make sure you know what you need, what factors are important to you, and then do your research. I’ve been reading around on this quite a bit, and I think this Woman’s Day article and this Time Doctor article are good places to start. They cover the main categories of work at home jobs, with links to reputable companies, and tips for what to avoid. If you’re in an MLM or considering joining one, I’d also recommend this CreditCards.com article about MLMs and credit card debt.

This post originally appeared on energyformoms.com.

Motherhood as Leadership

Motherhood

I’ve been searching for something. Something that would make things click into place, that would bring me that elusive feeling of alignment and purpose, transcending the apparent fragmentation and division I experience balancing family life and a job. Although it’s not that simple, this is more than just “work-life balance”. I also feel the pull of technology as an escape and the disappointment in not knowing my neighbors. The first is common to us all, and the second seems totally within my power to accomplish. I know I experience so much that is common to other middle class, gen x/millennial-ish moms who juggle kids and house and may or may not work on top of it. I also need to lose the baby weight, still, one last time – also in my power to accomplish. It’s so much harder this time but I know I can do it, I’ve done it before.

Anyway, getting to the point, I had a revelation last year, as I contemplated a domain and then a tagline for my blog. I was thinking about what my fellow moms needed, what I needed. Energy. We all seemed to need energy. But then I thought why? Energy for what? In order to seek that which we valued. And so I really thought about what I wanted. After 8 years of giving birth, nursing and raising 4 boys, while keeping up the house and filling all the other hours with a part-time job — I wanted to feel alive. What’s a good word for that? Vibrant, yes that sounds inspiring. And I’d love to feel beautiful, again. And fulfilled. Thus at the top of this page you see the text: Energy for Moms, you can be vibrant, fulfilled, beautiful.

This was such an interesting statement to make, such a risky promise. I did not feel any of those things, so how could I promise you that you could? Because I knew in my soul that there must be a way, there must be more than the tedious routine so many of us have accepted. Months later, I’m still struggling toward seeing results in my life, and yet I know in my heart I’ve been building a foundation for it.

After taking a break from the blog, spending time with family, and then consuming tons of books and inspiring YouTube videos, I’m ready to write again. My biggest challenge is my many interests, which unfortunately translates into a lack of focus. In order to provide value to you and to me, I need to go deep.

I’ve played with new taglines and new websites, mostly landing on aliciaeichmann.com and then considering phrases such as Using Technology to Thrive, and Motivation and Strategy for Work at Home Moms. I even began a series of YouTube videos, playing with the medium and the idea of book reviews and screenshare tutorials of useful websites and apps.

This is such a challenge because my one constant seems to be change. Framed in a positive way, I love to learn. I also love to teach what I learn if anyone is nearby who cares. But I love to learn, and when I don’t have space in my life to accumulate interests I trade one for another. And thus my husband thinks that I never, in a sense, stick with anything and finish it. Which is unfortunately, in a sense, true.

So how can I overcome my natural tendencies and create something consistent and of long term value for you, knowing that I have something I’m meant to share?

My newest inspiration is Leadership — one of my passions that seems most incongruent with my current hermit-like lifestyle, as I work from home and watch my preschooler and toddler. And yet I suspect that this captures the essence of both my internal conflict, and my search for a common, consistent theme.

Motherhood as Leadership.

What does that mean? I wish I had a beautifully insightful summary to insert for you here, but I don’t, just a promise that as I work this idea out I will share it with you here. And the thought that if energy, vibrancy, beauty and fulfillment is the goal and the why of the journey, then perhaps leadership – in the way I will unpack and apply it – is the how.

I do feel in my gut that this is the angle I can take on every topic that I’m focusing on somewhere in my world, from weight loss and parenting, to marketing, time management and the book I just read.

So here we go, welcome to the journey – again.

Much love,

Alicia

This post originally appeared on energyformoms.com.