Blog | Alicia Eichmann

The Next 8 Books I’m Going to Read (vote now)

Updated June 30, 2017

I’ve got a great stack of books on my desk. I’m so excited, I just wanted to let you know what’s coming up and give you a chance to vote! Let me know which one you want to hear about and I’ll bump it to the top of the list. Here they are in alphabetical order.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Learn more here

Here is my May 2017 Can’t Wait to Read Next book list:

Starry-Eyed: Seeing Grace in the Unfolding Constellation of Life and Motherhood by Mandy Arioto

Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter
June Update: I read it! You can read my takeaways from the book here.

Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
June Update: I read it and the first Boundaries book. You can read my takeaways from the book here.

The Values Factor: The Secret to Creating an Inspired and Fulfilling Life by Dr. John Demartini

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn
Posts inspired by this book: How to Delegate the Invisible Work that you do at Home, and 4 Simple Strategies for Getting Your Husband and Kids to Help Around the House

Mom Energy: A Simple Plan to Live Fully Charged by Ashley Koff, R.D. and Kathy Kaehler

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson
May Update: Loved, loved, loved this one! Read the post about here.

I’m rereading/skimming American Mania: When More is Not Enough by Peter C. Whybrow, M.D., and then I’m going to read his newest book, The Well-Tuned Brain: The Remedy for a Manic Society
I reread American Mania, and you can read my post about it and the appeal of something new.

Comment below and let me know which one you’d like to hear about!

Update: I read most of these, and transferred the last few to my new list which you can read here.

Transition is a good time for change

My Journey

When you have a significant change in your life, whether you feel good, bad, or conflicted about it, you can take advantage of the opportunity to piggyback some positive changes onto it.

When you move to a new house, get a new job, have a new baby, or any other large event, your routine and schedule get disrupted.

The time of settling back into life afterward is a great time to be mindful and purposeful about your habits and commitments as you continue or restart them.

This is also true of smaller changes such as when school ends for the summer, starts in the fall, when you accomplish a personal goal, or even at seasonal points when the weather changes.

Whenever you find yourself ‘getting back into routine’ ask yourself what you want to be different. If there are any daily or weekly habits that you want to add or eliminate, this is a good time.

I have a good friend from college who lives in another state and has four boys similar ages to mine. She homeschools and her husband has dealt with a long bout of unemployment and he just got a full time job last week. She was telling me how she was eager to get back into routine and was looking forward to the predictability of chores, times and income. I encouraged her to consider what habits she might want to adjust, and use this as an opportunity to adjust her routines.

My brother got married last summer and he and his wife are expecting a baby girl this summer. He is in the process of starting a new job while still looking for a better one. My close friend who lives down the street has two young children and is expecting twins this summer. My mother and father in law are seeing the need for a transition soon and are considering their options for moving out of their current house that they raised their boys in. I have military friends who are moving this year to other states. And then I have several friends who like me are in a season of routine and stability.

I have mixed feelings. I am overjoyed for my friend who is ready to settle back down into a routine. I feel humbled with gratitude for my current season of stability, and internally chastised for any complaints about boredom or household chores. I am eager to help my neighbor once her twins come, and to brainstorm with my in-laws about housing options.

I’m not in any kind of large transition in life, but I have several smaller changes I want to make. So I am inspired to consider ways to implement positive changes for my family using smaller milestones such as changing in the seasons and in the end of the school year. I look at my life and around my house, thinking about our home environment and daily life, and I feel the strong need for change. I know there are opportunities to change my family’s daily life for the better. I’m working up the mental and emotional energy to tackle them, to make the commitment and start. I wonder if I need a trigger, a catalyst. It might be as simple as the neighborhood garage sale showing up on my calendar, or a week straight of beautiful weather. I think this blog is partly a result of my quest for change, for something new. New relationships, new ideas, new experiments and experiences.

Among many things I hope this blog can be a catalyst for change, in my life, and in yours.

Celebrating milestones

My Journey

I really want more out of my life. I’ve been thinking about what’s missing, and one thing I want to get better at is celebrating milestones.

This requires slowing down the pace of life enough to recognize and then celebrate them. My oldest turned 7 this weekend, and while we had a wonderful day of celebrating with friends and family, eating good food and opening presents, I want to mark this as a milestone for him. I don’t think every birthday needs to be significant beyond the regular marking of the year passing and celebrating that person’s presence in our lives. But this year I want Charlie to know how proud I of him, that I seem him maturing, that I love his sweet spirit, his willingness to help, his love of baseball, and his creative mind. I am starting to really see his temperament develop and I even see hints of manhood, and the man he will be one day.

My husband and I discussed ways to mark the year in a unique way and settled on an idea we had when Charlie was born — for he and Charles to take a camping trip just the two of them once Charlie was old enough. So I’m scheduling for them to go camping overnight one weekend next month. I’m also looking for small changes in our daily and weekly routines to somehow mark that he has turned a corner, that in the continuum from childhood to adulthood, he’s moved forward, make progress worth celebrating.

We need to acknowledge and celebrate beginnings, endings, and transitions. I think this is one reason that being busy and living a hectic cluttered life is draining and stressful. We don’t notice significant changes and then life becomes one long continuous line of daily and weekly routines.

I’m still working on slowing down and simplifying, but one of my goals is to start celebrating the changing of the seasons with my kids. This could be as simple as adding events such as the first day of spring to the calendar and deciding to plan a special activity for that day, even if it’s just ‘eating dirt’ (chocolate pudding, oreo crumbs and gummy worms).

I think the key here is mindfulness. We all know the feeling of ‘celebrating’ holidays such as Christmas or Easter with a flurry of activity and then lamenting that maybe the reason for the season got lost in the midst somehow.

Sometimes the bigger ones are easier to remember and it’s the smaller ones we miss, and vice versa. Andrew started rolling over this week. Babies and toddlers help with the small milestones because they are more frequent, and filled with joy and wonder. First tastes of new flavors, first tooth, first steps.

For now I’m doing well with these small victories, and finding the right balance between capturing the moment with photos, and simply stopping and savoring the moment with my boys while they’re still little. Right now seeing the baby and the toddler’s growth has a unique element compared to my older boys young firsts because now they are old enough to enjoy these small milestones with us. I love hearing Charlie call me from the living room, “Mom, Andrew rolled over! Mom, I think he said ‘move’! He said a word!”

Some bigger upcoming milestones and victories that I want to celebrate are: Ben potty-training, paying off some debt that we have targeted to pay off by this fall, weaning Andrew, losing 24 pounds and getting back to my pre-baby weight, finishing fixing up our house. Larger milestones I have not handled as well in recent years. I need, my family needs, to slow down enough to experience these milestones as they happen — to see growth, to talk about its significance, to let some be bittersweet, and others be full of joy; we need to celebrate victories and then climb together and find ourselves at a new vintage point, ready to see where we were and where we’re going, ready for new plans, goals, growth, life – together.

What are some milestones that you want to experience? To stop and feel them as they happen, to consider their significance, to mark with your family as a point that was in the future and now is in the past?

5 Books that will change your life

Books

Updated June 16, 2017

I’m currently rereading 168 Hours and Salt Sugar Fat, and the books on my summer list, see below.

These 5 books are must-reads that I would recommend to anyone and everyone. I am a better, deeper person for having read each of them, and I’m hoping to reread all of them within the next 6-9 months, and maybe reread sections and post on them even sooner, because I know I just scratched the surface, because I’ll notice and see things I didn’t see before, and because I’m excited to share them with you.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Learn more here

168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think
Laura Vanderkam
Buy Now

When I read 168 Hours for the first time, it changed how I think about time, and the choices I have as a mom. I read it in 2012 while I was working part time from home with two small children and it has ever since been my guiding framework for how I think about time management, priorities, work-life balance, and what kind of commitments I can fit into my life. Laura convinced me I could keep working while raising my kids and I’m so glad I did. If I had made a different decision back then I would not have seen the personal and professional growth that I’ve been able to experience over the past 5 years, even alongside having two more children.

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
John Eldredge
Buy Now

When I read Wild At Heart, it changed my marriage. Actually I read it before I got married, but I’m so glad I did because it changed how I view men and marriage and prepared me for raising boys. It’s on my reread list as my boys get older, and as my husband and I move into the next season of life with older children and more opportunities to pursue adventure and be wild at heart.

Shiny Objects: Why We Spend Money We Don’t Have in Search of Happiness We Can’t Buy
James A. Roberts
Buy Now

Shiny Objects started me on a long profound journey of thinking differently about possessions, our consumer-based society, and how we use our resources of money, time and energy. This is on my current reread list, particularly the next time I do another spending freeze. If you want some concrete reasons for practicing contentment, check out this book. It will change the way you view possessions and relationships and the affect they have on each other.

Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us
Michael Moss
Buy Now

My eyes were opened to the dangers of processed food for the first time when I read Salt Sugar Fat. I have since read other similar books, but this one stands out. Reading it will educate you about the industry and cause you to consider intelligently the messages you receive about what to buy. We must take responsibility and be intentional about what we bring home and feed our families. Just because someone is selling it to you does not mean it is good for your family.

American Mania: When More is Not Enough
Peter C. Whybrow, M.D.
Buy Now

In American Mania, he sheds light on our collective feeling of being overworked and dissatisfied in an environment full of affluence and opportunity, using scientific insight into the biology of the brain, and the genetics of the migrant temperament. This book really helped me understand myself in a new way, and has intriguing implications for how we think, and for how we parent our children. I recently explored in a post how it helps us explain, what is the appeal of something new.

Runners Up:

Start with Why by Simon Sinek, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, and Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen

More Lists

I’m linking up with Modern Mrs Darcy’s Quick Lit June 2017 where you can read more lists for summer 2017.

This summer I’m working through the 3 books on my Summer 2017 Reading List, and These 8 Books I Had Picked to Read Next.

Two places where I feel at home in the world

Books

The Regent University library (or really any library) and the Appalachian mountains (or any campsite)

At Home in The World

One of my favorite authors, Tsh Oxenreider, released a new book this week! It’s called At Home in the World and it chronicles a nine month trip she and her husband took with their three young children around the world. I got my copy yesterday and started reading it last night. I’m quite enjoying it, I had to make myself put it down and go to bed! I’ll be posting more about the book soon, but to help her celebrate, I’m accepting the invitation on her blog to write about where I feel at home in the world.

I couldn’t choose, so I picked two places: a library, and a campsite.

Libraries

I love books. If you know me, or you read my blog for very long, this will become apparent. I grew up in Kansas City (same house, 18 yrs) and went to college in Oklahoma, then I moved to Virginia Beach to get my masters at Regent University. Now I live across town in Suffolk, VA. I’m in a season now (with a toddler and a baby and two boys in school) where I don’t often leave the house unless I’m going to the office for a quick meeting, or to get the boys from school. My life since leaving home has consisted of eight years focused on being a student, and then eight years as a full time mom with a part time job at home.

I’ve recently revived my hobby and passion for reading and writing, and I remember fondly those eight years of which many hours were spent in the respective school libraries. Sitting in a library for several hours to read or write is not something I have actually done in years, which makes that answer a bit odd. Until it occurs to me that if I were to walk into a library tomorrow and sit down to work on a project I would feel quite at home — even if it was a library I had never been to. And I think that is quite a delightful and wonderful thought.

Camping

I love camping. My husband loves camping. He was an eagle scout so he is good at camping (which makes it really fun). And I think all kids love the outdoors and mine definitely love camping. As many things as I love about camping, my favorite is definitely the campfire. We always buy wood, and we still collect wood throughout the day to be certain to have an hours long fire in the evening. After a full day of activity, and nature, and a dinner cooked over the coals, the sun sets and we break out the s’mores supplies and add more wood to the fire. We circle the camp chairs and watch the fire go through its cycle of bright flames with fresh wood, to a warm glow with the wood collapsing to the higher brighter flames of fresh wood stacked in a cabin or teepee formation depending on the wood shape and size. We tell stories and look up at the stars and take turns taking kids to the bathroom. Eventually they go in to the tent and fall asleep. And that’s my favorite part, that special moment when all you hear is the wood crackling and the wind whistling in the trees. I love to sit and stare at the fire, alternating with staring at the stars and the woods.

And I feel at home. When we set up a campsite, whether it’s a much beloved camp ground we frequent, or one we’re visiting for the first time, each time we go camping, that campsite feels like home for a couple days, and never as much as when I sit beside the fire and feel that for one evening all is exactly how it should be. In the moment, I am home and away. Which is exactly what I need. I need to be away, to get away from the noise, the schedule, the demands, the city, the house. But just like Tsh says, I love my armchair with my bookshelf of books. But I also love the wildness of the forest and the lake and the ocean. Nature is amazing, and I love that when we go camping, I truly feel at home in the world.

I’m grateful to Tsh for pointing out this dichotomy in my life (I love an intriguing dichotomy). I can’t wait to finish her book and post about it. Stay tuned!

Note: I’m working on decluttering my house using Tsh’s guidance in her book, Organized Simplicity. I’ll be posting about that soon (hopefully soon!) with before and after pictures included.

My Top Tip for a Healthier Marriage: Be a Team

Motherhood

Find a shared project. Be a team.

Find a project to work on together. This makes you a team and gives you a chance to collaborate and work together to accomplish a goal, and share success. It also helps you communicate. This could be anything from identifying a financial goal like getting out of debt, to agreeing on some parenting rules, to building a picnic table together for your backyard. My husband and I bought a fixer upper for our first house and enjoyed working it together. We’d go to the home store and pick paint colors and new faucets and light fixtures. When we had a second child and outgrew it we were able to sell it and make enough money to pay off some debt and invest in our next home, a larger fixer upper.

I recommend doing some value discovery together and then identifying a few projects that line up with your shared values and will get you closer to your long term goals. You will probably have one related to parenting, but try to choose one that is not primarily about your child(ren) but is something practical that you and your spouse can tackle together that has a clearly defined purpose and success metric so you can finish it and celebrate together. I find working on the house to be a great place to start, but other ideas could include planning and taking a trip (with or without the children), or creating a new holiday tradition, or even making a new recipe.

Some of our fun memories of projects big and small tacked together include: building a picnic table, making a huge sandwich that was a crazy version of a Muffuletta sandwich (I’ll have to find the recipe), setting up a camera and running a time lapse of a thunder storm, multiple camping trips, and fixing up both houses; most recently, building a firepit in the backyard and working on replacing our front porch railing.

My main advice would be this: when he has an idea, write it down. If he says hey this recipe sounds good, or what if we built x or fixed y, or went to z location – write it down! And then look for ways to follow up on his ideas and make them actionable or if they seem out of reach, or some-day dreams, find versions that could be achievable if you made it a priority.

I’d love to hear your ideas! What is a project you might do with your spouse? What could make you feel like a team?

I love the feeling I get when it feels like my husband and I are united against an obstacle, and are strong and successful together. Doing projects together intentionally helps foster that emotion and energy.