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“For this we now declare: WE SHALL MEET LIFE WITH FULL PRESENCE AND POWER.”

Brendon Burchard

Hi, I’m Alicia

I love Brendon’s quote above. It’s from his book, The Motivation Manifesto.

I believe that it’s time for us to show up, to discover ourselves, to find out what it even looks like for us to meet life with presence and power.

That’s what Alicia’s Soul Adventure is all about. It’s my story, but it’s also yours. We’re all on the same journey. I just happen to be a compulsive self development book reader who realized she loves to teach more than coach, who is answering the call of my own soul to become more visible and begin to serve, to see how my healing can now heal others.

My Story

When I was 12, I was in a car wreck. A van ran a red light and hit our car on the front right, just forward of where I was sitting shotgun. I broke my collarbone, took a few months to fully recover. No big deal.

But what was a big deal, what changed the direction of my life forever was the fact that they told me a foot closer to me and I could have been in a body cast. Something deep inside me awoke that day. I had this sense that I’d been protected for a purpose, and I started searching for a deeper meaning in life. I’ve been restless ever sense, looking for purpose and meaning, a deeper truth than you see on the surface of life.

I grew up in church and the summer after the accident I started reading the Bible myself. And I wasn’t reading Genesis or Matthew or Romans. I was reading Leviticus and Numbers and the minor prophets, the stuff no one ever reads. I even found a bible handbook and read along in it so I’d understand.

That’s how hungry I was. Fast forward through highschool, college and grad school. I got BA and MA degrees in Biblical Literature. Then I got married and became a mom and had that realization we all get at some point that school didn’t really prepare us for this, for life. I began to feel that together, public school and the church had let me down. I wasn’t ready. I did everything they said, but I knew I was missing stuff. There had to be more, more insight into how to really live life, really make the most of this one life we all have.

I had serious questions, and practical life challenges. And at my core I’m a reader and researcher, so that’s what I did. Whenever I had questions about nutrition, exercise, sex, parenting – life in general – I found a book and started reading. I also read a lot of business, psychology and history.

These books were all incredibly wonderful and helpful practically. But all that insight came at a cost; at some point the perfect storm of convincing evidence brought a scary truth down on me and I felt the spiritual-intellectual foundation of my life crumbling.

Evolution was true.

Yeah, I know some of you are thinking, “What? That’s it? Of course it is, where have you been?”

For others I feel like I’m the kid telling you santa isn’t real. “Really? No. No, it can’t be. Are you sure?”

Anyway, that was the catalyst for a crisis of faith that lasted several years. I researched my way out of that one too. I finished a couple of months ago (spring 2019).

And what I discovered was something beatiful. And to put it in a ridiculously short nutshell it was basically this: God is alive and well, and at work in the world, and so much bigger than the religion I grew up with.

I’m still confused on some things, but I’m confident I have the important parts figured out and I’m hungrier than ever to fill in the gaps.

And I’ve gone far enough and gotten enough feedback from friends to realize that it’s time to share what I know, and whatever I’m reading about next.

My Invitation to You

Are you hungry too? Do you want to go with me?

Are you looking for positive influences and for mentors to show you the way to better future, a different place than where you’ve always been?

My mission is to help you discover your own inner power and strength, and to unlock a whole new level of life and how you look at the world, in a way that you will never be the same again. It’s as much of a transformation as Neo taking the red pill in the Matrix, but it’s much better news on the other side.

Have you heard people say that you become the sum of the 5 voices that you surround yourself with? I completely believe that. Years ago I heard Gary Vaynerchuk talk about this, saying you could choose online mentors to be some of those voices, especially as a way to begin to transform your life without moving or quitting your job or anything big, (at least not at first). That’s what I did and now that’s what I want to be for you.

I am a teacher and content creator and I want to be one of your voices, someone who is a constant source of inspiration, encouragement, positivity, and depth, calling you to greatness, calling you to be truly you.

A little big about my background: I have a Masters degree in Biblical Literature, Pre-Doctoral studies from Regent University, a Bachelors degree in New Testament from Oral Roberts University. I’m a licensed Growth Coach with Lifeforming Leadership Coaching. I have 9 years experience as a webmaster and marketer for a small real estate team in southeastern Virginia.

I have sat under the digital teaching of Brendon Burchard, Bo Eason, Gabrielle Bernstein, Marianne Williamson, Gary Vaynerchuk, Dana Malstaff, and Ruth Soukup through their online courses and videos. I’ve also spent the past 10 years reading extensively in personal development, business, psychology, science, faith and spirituality. Other big influences for me are Wayne Dyer, Ryan Holiday, Steven Pressfield, Simon Sinek, Tony Robbins and Gay Hendricks.

I love outdoor adventures, any projects my husband or our four boys are working on, and I’m a total personal development book junkie. I’m also a huge Star Wars fan – legacy series, I haven’t even watched the new movies yet.

But Bo Eason helped me realize why I love Star Wars so much, reading all the books in high school and re-reading them in college. (Seriously, I’m not joking. Don’t laugh. Ok, just a little.)

It’s because my life theme is discovering your own strength and power, a power that shocks and surprises you, that has been dormant inside without you realizing it.

Do you know who we are?

You and I?

We’re Luke Skywalker. We have the force. We are a force – to be reckoned with. And I believe it’s time to wake up, embrace our healing, become community, and offer healing to the world from a place of healing, power and strength.

That’s my vision. Welcome to my soul adventure.

All my love,
Alicia Eichmann

Join the Soul Adventure

My mission is to fight apathy and stagnation and help us awaken to our inner power. My passion is self development and spiritual growth books.

I’m combining those in a (really) affordable membership, on purpose. Because I want you  with me. 

You.

I want you.

If this speaks to you, if my approach, my voice, my mission resonates with you, I want you to sign up and give me a shot.

I could charge way more, but I’m not, so that the money won’t stop anyone who is drawn to my message of hope.

For the cost of a book ($15), each month I’ll teach you about 4. Each week you’ll get a summary video and worksheet covering the main topics and takeaways from that week’s book. You’ll also get access to the Soul Adventure Community facebook group.

No long term commitment. Get instant access to the bonuses and the archives. New content weekly. Incredible wisdom and insight from 4+ books every month. Let’s do this.

See you on the other side.

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Hey friend,

What are you up to? I know several of you are at a conference, and some of you are riding out the hurricane, and others are settling into the routine of the school year starting.

Well I am doing none of the above. The hurricane kept me from attending the conference, keeping me from traveling but not hitting my city. It also got my kids out of school for the entire week, so routine is not back yet. However, I have a strange sense of peace and gratitude about the entire week, tainted only by my concern for friends currently riding out this crazy hurricane.

I am happier about quitting my job and being on this biz-entrepreneur journey with you, than I am sad about missing the conference – disappointing as that is, or worried about the hurricane when it was forecast earlier this week to get much closer to where I am.

So I guess my point is that perspective is huge, because your thoughts determine your feelings, and obstacles become what you make of them.

I hope you are all safe, productive, happy, or all of the above.

Here is a list of some of what I’ve been up to, and things I recommend for you to try this week:

1. Find Consistency – I have to celebrate that this is Issue 10 of this newsletter, which means I have done something consistently for 10 weeks in a row. After re-branding twice in the past year and taking a few months off multiple times, that feels like a huge win.
   
   
2. Use Your Name – If you have a lot of ideas, and you’re trying to narrow down and pick the first thing to focus on, or you’re trying to pick a biz or domain name (maybe none of you are, but I know many of us are tempted to rebrand from time to time) – I just have to say that it’s ok to just use your name. In my experience everything but the domain is easy to change. Keep tweaking your tagline and your branding elements until they fit you. But so much technical and historical data hangs on the domain it’s best to commit to one. So for me, I’ve decided the one thing I know is that I am me, and I like to switch up what I’m doing. So with a bit of technical difficulty, including my site not working without www for a few days, energyformompreneurs.com is no more, and aliciaeichmann.com is now live and will be more site for the foreseeable future.
   
   
3. Be Happy – I read The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, recently. One of my biggest takeaways was that it’s ok to be happy, and that it’s normal to need to fight our natural tendencies to do so. He talks about how we have an upper limit that is our own natural roof to our happiness and that there are ways we can intentionally raise it and thus increase our own ability to happier, and happier more of the time. The simplest action to take is to simply consciously practice being happier more often, looking for reasons, and then giving yourself permission. If this intrigues you, read the book, it’s awesome. And then I’d love to hear what you thought about his Einstein time theory.
   
   
4. Niche Down – You might here me say this at least once a month, and you might hear everyone else say it too, like I did. But it’s just true. If you want help on this shoot me email. But let me just say it took me a year and a half to narrow down my focus from helping moms have energy, to helping mompreneurs have energy, to helping mompreneurs with marketing, to helping online biz owners use analytics and their traffic data to identify the right actions to take in their business. And I’m doing adwords tutoring and consulting on the side to help bring in money. So just keep. narrowing. down. You won’t regret it. For an amazing resource on this, check out the book Stand Out, by Dorie Clark. Another good one is Known, by Mark Schaefer.
   
   
5. Tutoring – If you’re looking for a way to make some money right now, consider picking a topic you enjoy and putting out the word that you can tutor those who want to learn it. Right now I’m doing adwords tutoring and consulting on the side to help bring in money.
   
   
6. Try Upwork – I’m also going to try getting jobs from upwork.com, in the spirit of trying things and having options while I’m building my core business. I’ll let you know how it goes!
   
   
7. Next on my Reading List – Ego is the Enemy, and The Obstacle is the Way, both by Ryan Holiday
   
   
8. Find Unique ways to Provide Value – I’ve created a set of customized analytics dashboards as my freebie to get on this list. I’ll be sending the links to you sometime next week. With a couple of clicks you’ll be able to add these templates to your google analytics account. It will populate them with your data, and you’ll be able to see more quickly at a glance, and in plain English, strategic info by category for your business. And then I’ll be following up with tips about how often to look at them and how to use them to make decisions for your business. Cool, right? I hope you love it, watch for them next week.

Quote of the week

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

– Albert Schweitzer

Blessings,
Alicia

This post has affiliate links, which means I may make a small commission if you follow the link and make a purchase. This is always at no additional cost to you. I’m so grateful for your support. Learn more here.

I am so pumped up! It’s the day I’ve been working toward for over a year, it was the last day at my job. I’m entering a new season and I don’t know if there’s anything quite like a new season when that is what you need. It’s reminding me of when I moved across the country for school, and to follow my now-husband, and when I quit my daycare job to be a Research Assistant while I got my Masters degree, and like when I got married and we moved into our new place together.

Some experiences just become watershed moments where your life is fundamentally better because it’s more aligned who you are, and so you’re happier and the grass really is greener because you’re in the right place for you to be.

Anyway, that is where I am and my hope for you is that you are able to be you wherever you are, and to enter a new season whenever the time comes. And seasons can come with subtle changes such as a change in mindset, it doesn’t have to be about big moves or life changes.

Ok, so on to the list. I don’t know if I’ll always do lists, but it’s working right now so I hope these are helpful. Here are some things I’ve been up to and stuff for you to try.

1. You can be a Boss Mom – I started reading Boss Mom, by Dana Malstaff, and I was immediately impacted by the first section where she talks about love. She says when we view love as abundant and a resource we can always create more of, and we view life as a bucket instead of separate work and home buckets, we can let ourselves love our kids/family and our business, and prioritize in a way that is authentic for ourselves, and find a place where we have love for all of it, and so we find a way for it to all work together. Totally what I need right now. And if you’re not a member, I recommend her facebook group, Boss Moms, I really love it.
   
   
2. Keyword Browser Tool – If you want to more easily get keyword info as your browse the web, go to keywordseverywhere.com and install the browser addon. Just try it, it’s fun.
   
   
3. Experiment – I changed the subject line of my newsletter last week, and the same percentage of people read it, which tells me you’re either reading or you’re not, and that makes me think I don’t need to think of a fancy subject line when I’m not feeling it.
   
   
4. Consider Your Automation – On that note, I have to say that I’ve heard some interesting debate/conversation on how to address your email list, and I wanted to tell you that I decided to use a generic ‘hey friend’ or something similar, because I’m going to reserve your name for when I’m actually emailing you personally. It’s another reason I like having a name for my newsletter. I hope to continue to regularly email many of you, and I want you to know when it’s personally from me and when it’s not. Anyway, food for thought. (I also really want to address it ‘hey guys’ but that seems weird because we’re all girls. Maybe that’s from how I grew up. Will that be weird if I start saying ‘hey guys, I just realized such and such’?)
   
   
5. Focus Your Marketing – I got some advice that I think was good. If you’re in services this will probably seem obvious. But they said to have a single focus in your marketing, but then take on clients or business that is not directly related if it’s something you want to do or someone you’re glad to work with. I think this will help me focus my marketing, which is really hard for some reason.
   
   
6. Steven Pressfield is amazing – I keep coming back to Steven Pressfield’s books. I read Turning Pro again last week as I was working up the courage to have my exit interviews and be professional through the process. And now I’m rereading Do the Work, again because it’s just so good for getting you in the mindset to embrace the creative process and push through barriers like writer’s block. Next is The Artist’s Journey.
   
   
7. Watch for New Opportunities – I got a referral from a friend of someone who wanted help with Adwords (now Google Ads). I’m not close to having a course done, but I offered to tutor her. It turns out she needs to learn it for job, and her company ended up paying me, and I met her boss too, and their company is bigger than I realized. (First call was this morning.) And a few hours is turning into more hours. I’m really excited about the project and I’m the perfect person to help them, even though it’s totally not what I thought I was looking for. So don’t be afraid to give things a shot when they don’t line up with what you were expecting.
   
   
8. Thank you – On that note, thank you so much, to all of you for reading and being my community. Several of you have reached out to me with potential jobs, or to refer friends. I appreciate it so much. If you know anyone who wants help with analytics or adwords (google ads), let me know.
   
   
9. Analytics – Since you’re on my list, if you have a few questions about your analytics account, I’d be glad to set up some custom reports for you for free, just shoot me an email about it.

I’ve been unschooling myself ever since I finished my masters degree 8 years ago.

It wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t know it. I didn’t even have a word for it until this year. But I’ve had to, in order to find my way. Let me explain.

We all joke about how school didn’t teach us enough about life. My college prep high school didn’t allow time for home economics or even an official driving course. We also didn’t learn anything about budgeting or parenting. But I think we’ve all accepted that school focused on reading, writing, math, science, history, etc.

So like everyone else I know, I’ve been slowly teaching myself over the last decade (since getting married) to cook, to budget, and then to parent, etc.

Along the way I began to explore all kinds of fun, practical and previously unknown worlds – such as gardening and painting. Additionally my husband introduced me to carpentry, web coding, and adventurous activities such as hiking, camping, and sailing.

But then my journey went deeper when my big kids started grade school and I began to think about homeschooling them. So I began to look around and read books that come up in search results when you look for information on homeschooling. Some of those books are focused on the affects of public school.

The big surprise was how much reading this material helped me to understand myself — as a highly educated, thoroughly schooled individual. After K-12, college, and 3 1/2 years of grad school, when I was 26 and pregnant with my first kid, I had spent 20 1/2 years in school.

And I had become a person who valued achievement above all else and was conditioned to be obedient and follow all the rules, to do what was expected of me and meet everyone’s expectations in checklist fashion, to dutifully stay in my box and be content with what I had, to be smart but not innovative, to follow and not lead.

Maybe I’ll get better at explaining this, but I’ve got to start somewhere. I found a book by John Taylor Gatto, a retired schoolteacher, and in it he talked about how some of the fundamental goals of the way public school is designed were mindless obedience, self-alienation, separation from family influence, and to value arbitrary performance goals in the form of grades.

I really really love both my boys’ teachers this year, but I’m disturbed by how often the communication from them is to make sure the kids sleep and eat well for a test the next day, or a request to reinforce the importance of accruing points to make the end of the month classroom goal. My kindergartner gets points in an app on a daily basis for various types of positive behavior, and can lose points in the same fashion.

My second grader came home a few weeks ago proudly bringing me his report card of all A’s, and to me his pride was disproportionate to the occasion. I was proud of him too, but he was pleased with his success as if he was succeeding in ‘the most important thing’. It made me think of several other things that he is wonderful at, that I need to affirm and stress to him the significance of those successes too. He is the type to do well in school, the type that becomes the teacher’s pet. Two years in a row he has been Student of the Month in October, the first month in which the award is given. He is so conscientious I want him to learn to not take himself quite so seriously.

He is me. We joke that he has my temperament, and his brother has my husband’s – but it’s true.

And now that I see my journey, I see where my firstborn is headed.

My biggest internal stumbling block for years was perfectionism. Every time someone criticized one thing I did, I agonized over how to avoid such a mistake in the future. My goal was always perfection.  Maybe because for years of school I excelled in being perfect. Tons of A+s and 100%s, often on my first draft.

I spent my formative and post-formative years in a classroom, learning to follow arbitrary rules and do the checklist that would get me a good grade. And then a few weeks ago I read Awaken the Giant Within, by Tony Robbins, and in one chapter he talks about Life Metaphors, about how you should realize what life metaphors you are living by and change them if they don’t give you the vocabulary, mindset and mentality that you want in life.

Do you know what I scribbled in all caps on an entire page in my notebook?

LIFE IS NOT A CLASSROOM

I’ve spent my last 8 years realizing that life is not a classroom, and this one insight in this book allowed me to finally break free and embrace a new metaphor(s) for my life. Something like life is an adventure, or a gift, or a journey.

Life is not a classroom.

Rules, checklists, grades, points. This is not the stuff life is made of. Life is about relationships, about people. Taking chances, making mistakes, getting messy (Magic School Bus reference lol) – learning to fail is as important as learning to succeed.

You know what? So is knowing who you are and why you do what you do.

This comes back full circle to the assertion that an inherent goal of the fundamental design structure underlying school is self-alienation. When I read that sentence last year it was like it hit me in the chest.

When you learn to accept arbitrary rules and to live a life of mindless obedience, you give up on knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing, and you quiet your internal voice of reason and passion.

Then you medicate with food and technology, and can’t live life according to your core values.

I read another book by Britton LaTulippe. I didn’t agree with everything he said, but one thing really resonated. He made the argument that school is designed to turn both boys and girls into productive workers who value being part of the workforce, and to encourage them to wait longer to have kids, because kids break the spell of school.

Oh my word, it’s so true. You’re humming along in your designated swim lane and then you have kids and it awakens this desire in you to be more, to be enough, to give to them out of all you have to give… I can’t even explain it. But all the parents out there know what I’m talking about. It puts you in touch with your inner self, I think because it is possibly the most profound experience that we have in life.

So my husband has always been a rebel at heart. He loves to think outside the box, color outside the lines, drive offroad, explore off the beaten path, and sees rules as more of a ‘suggestion’. I heard somewhere that often we are drawn to marry someone who has qualities that we aspire to, and that as the relationship matures and as we mature, we must come to internalize those qualities too or we will resent the other person. I thought that was intriguing, and I can see how my husband’s rebel nature appealed to me, and how together we have successfully brought me more to the middle, more to a place of balance and self-awareness, and the ability to fail and move on, to mess up and not take it personally, not act as if one mistake can put my identity and value in jeopardy, and to instead view life as full of possibliity, as an open canvas instead of a quiz.

What is my point? I have two reasons for sharing this. The first is because I have new thoughts to share with you that will build on these things (I’m so excited to share what I’m reading now! stay tuned), and the second is this truth:

School did not help you become a leader, and it will not help your children become leaders either.

This journey of leadership is one that we must initiate and own as something valuable that we as parents must steward. Qualities to be cultivated in the home and passed on from us as parents to our children.

My point is not that everyone should homeschool. We don’t yet, although we might.

My goal is to share my journey, to help you understand your journey, and to find together what motherhood means for us today.

I believe that for those of us who went to public school we need to understand how that affected us. Statistically the vast majority of us will not homeschool, and we need to understand which parts of our kids’ education about life we should not delegate to schools, and not assume they will teach them correctly what to learn and what to value. For those who choose to homeschool, they should explore the nuance between school, education, and learning, and understand the psychology behind their methods, mindset, and chosen curriculum.

So when I say that I am unschooling myself, I mean that I am unlearning and relearning fundamental truths about life, that I accidentally learned while getting an education in math, science, history, etc. I want to urge you to join me on this journey, but you must understand the true nature of it. When it comes to life values that school innately misdelivers on, I believe that homeschooling does not guarantee success, and neither does going to public school predestine failure. Just to clarify, if I homeschool my kids it will be because that matches up with my values for who I am and how I want to spend my time, not because I believe I must homeschool them in order for them to escape x, y, z characteristics that I learned in school.

As parents we must model and teach leadership and authentic life values and habits to our kids. I believe our generation will be the one to learn this lesson, and that in understanding the role of school we can take back control of the messages our kids truly internalize about life in their formative years.

I feel like apologizing that all of that was so heavy, but I’m about to share about some books and insights that have completely changed my life, and it won’t have its full significance without some context about my journey.

This post originally appeared on energyformoms.com.

Can thinking like a leader help me lose weight?

I’m going to find out, I’ll let you know. (Forgive me if that’s not where your focus is. Feel free to skip this one and wait for the next post if you want.)

I’ve been through the baby weight loss journey twice, after boy 2 and boy 3. My baby (#4) is 16 months old and to the discerning eye I still look pregnant. It really bothers me but I have not managed to align enough elements of my life for long enough to continuously make progress. I’ve actually lost ground over the last 6 months.

So can thinking like a leader help me with this? (and maybe help you with whatever your thing is right now?) I’m not sure.

But here is what I do know. Leaders take ownership, and they don’t have a victim mentality. They know what is important, what matters and they take initiative. They think creatively, out of the box. They major on the majors and minor on the minors. They have passion and vision – in a way that is contagious.

I want that, all of that. I want to be that. I want to stand up straighter, feel confident in my clothes, and be an example of self-control and healthy living for my boys. And most of all I want to take all of that for granted and move onto the other things that I want to focus on in life.

But sugar is my friend.

I know right, sounds like a personal problem. A habit that I need to kick, again.

But my job is stressful.

And I’m also blessed to have it, and my health, and a wonderful family. I’ve been reading authors like Tony Robbins and Brendon Burchard and I know I can choose to take ownership. Of my life, my attitude, my perspective, my gratitude, my habits…. my weight.

But will I?

I believe I’m meant to be a leader. And a leader is someone who takes ownership. And can prioritize long term gain over short term temptation, especially as it lines up with their vision and their values.

That is going to be me. And no joke there are cookies downstairs in the oven right now…. and I am not going to eat one.

Instead I’m going to make a menu plan for tomorrow.

— [ insert life happening ] —

I drafted that yesterday afternoon, and the act of writing it got me eating healthier for the rest of the evening, which was a big win even though I didn’t actually make a menu. Now I’m up in the middle of the night having trouble sleeping after my toddler went back to bed. And I’m thinking about how to create momentum with this. I made a connection yesterday with a nice lady who was telling me about a program she used to lose 10 pounds in a month. It costs $260. And I’m considering it, because with that much money on the line I would stick to the plan. And losing the weight is definitely worth that much money to me.

But then I think about other options that could be just as effective. My husband would be glad to have $200 in return for keeping dessert out of the house. I looked at the food plan for the program, and it’s pretty close to what I know I should be doing, dressed up in fancy language about detoxifying your body. And I’m sure it does. But I know I could make substantial progress if I just literally did what I know to do.

Do you have something like that in your life? Where you know you could really change your life, and get closer to a quality of life you really want, and you even know what you’d have to do to get there? And nothing is stopping you except you – and you just don’t, you don’t take the action you could take?

I blame my kids. This was easier when I just didn’t buy unhealthy food, and my little guys were eating bananas and avocados and didn’t think anything of it.

But leadership is about taking ownership – which is probably the opposite of blaming others and making excuses.

And ownership involves self-awareness, and I’ve realized I just really need external accountability in this area, even though I think I shouldn’t need it.

So I may form a small weight loss Facebook group (let me know if you’re interested), and until I figure that out I may just post what I ate every day at the end of each blog post, because that is where I’m at.

Where are you at?

This post originally appeared on energyformoms.com.

Recent conversations at work have got me thinking about management and leadership, and as a result re-reading Tribes, by Seth Godin. In it he makes an interesting distinction as he asserts that “managers manage by using the authority the [company] gives them” and that leaders don’t care about official structure and instead “use passion and ideas to lead people.” (pg 22)

In other words: when you manage, you do it out of the authority inherent in your position, and enforce certain rules, structure etc as a result.

When you lead, you prioritize values and creativity, and take initiative fueled by passion and emotional intelligence. You value people over results and the results follow.

And this is why when my kids ask me ‘why’, I never say ‘because I said so’.

I want to model strength, hard work and even obedience, but also flexibility, compassion, and problem solving. I’m constantly working out the why and the how of my decisions as my husband and I run our household of six together, and I try to be honest about the process as our first two get older. When they ask me a real question, I try to give a real answer. It’s not always a good time, but they always get one of two things: an explanation, or permission to ask later when we’ll have more time to talk about it.

Because I believe life is a journey and because I find myself learning new things every day, I cannot position myself as the unquestionable parent, who cannot be questioned. And yet I have been uncertain in this, because surely there must be a line somewhere, and I am currently navigating with my gut. Thus the continual search for a new understanding that will make me better at this parenting thing.

So anyway, I don’t know if I’m articulating this well, but what I want you to know is that I think we can find a new level of everything we are looking for if we see our role as a leader rather than a manager. Yes, we manage the home in many ways, but when it comes to relationships do we interact with our children to accomplish a checklist, or to build character, to make them help with the chores, or to give them a vision for what life is all about?

The main point of Seth’s book is that you, whoever you are, can and must be a leader, and that we need you to lead us. Our world is full of tribes of people with something in common, who need leaders, and that anyone can be a leader so how about you. I love this because I think as moms it seems we are leading nothing and everything at the same time. For those of us who are even on a career ladder, we often feel our values for family will keep us from going anywhere, but when you turn the tables and look at it from the perspective of Tribes, your family is your own mini-tribe and your lifelong mission, and how the corporate world defines anything is not even close to the most important thing. And if you do have a serious (to you) career or a small business, I encourage you to read Tribes and think about what type of leadership role you are meant to have.

Because it’s not titles or rules, or allowance or bedtimes. It’s about taking the initiative to care. To care, to listen, to engage life with purpose, to pursue your values creatively with those you love.

That is the challenge I want to accept, and the journey I want to invite you to join.

How can we take this concept farther? Share any thoughts you have below.

This post originally appeared on energyformoms.com.

2017 LIEBSTER AWARD

EnergyforMoms has recieved a 2017 Liebster Award!

The 2017 Liebster Award is an online award that gives recognition to new bloggers. Created by bloggers for bloggers, it’s a great way for new blogs to be discovered and promoted. Writing is just all the Social media managing, promoting and technical work can actually be quite hard. And this award recognizes this and provides bloggers a means to connect with other bloggers and help promote each other.

Who nominated me?

I was kindly nominated by Pennie from “Nature Mama”. Her goal is to help busy families find easy, healthy answers by writing about everyday tips, “real food” recipes, tutorials, health remedies and much more. I love her story about how after struggling to become a mom, she switched her focus to a healthy lifestyle, and then had a natural, healthy pregnancy!

Pennie thanks so much for nominating me! The recognition is so motivating, as is the opportunity to connect and network with other bloggers. Since I now get to nominate 5 other blogs myself for the award, I found other new bloggers who are working hard on an awesome topic and could use a little encouragement to just keep going.

My Nominations

Each blogger must nominate fellow bloggers with less then 200 followers. Here are my choices – Go check out their wonderful blogs!!!

Alicia – “Born to Freelance”

Layne – “Crafting a Beautiful Life”

Congratulations to you both! Now it’s your turn to nominate 5 bloggers for the 2017 Liebster Award.

Questions for my Nominees

• What has been your biggest challenge with blogging?
• What is your number one tip for other bloggers?
• What are your hobbies other than blogging?
• What successful entrepreneur do you admire and why?
• Who is your favorite blogger and why?
• Tell us about your blog and why you started blogging.
• Item you can’t live without.
• What and who motivate you to write?

Here’s to spreading the blogging love and building our tribes!

2017 Liebster Award Rules

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for the Liebster Award.
2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
3. Upload the award to your blog. It can be done as a blog post, on your sidebar or both.
4. Answer the questions
5. Provide 10 random facts about yourself (this is optional but helps you to engage better with your readers).
6. Nominate 5 blogs with followers less than 200 that you believe deserves to receive the award. If you feel others deserve the award, then you are welcome to nominate more.
7. Notify the nominated bloggers so that they can accept the award. Bloggers can be nominated more than once, giving their readers more chance to learn about them.

My Answers

Which of yours, is your favorite post – and why?

This is such a hard question! I guess I’ll say What really matters in order to have a successful yard sale, because it is the first longer, comprehensive guide that I’ve done. I tried to create a resource for readers that would help them address a practical challenge, deciding why and whether to do it, and then focusing on the most important elements for feeling good about it afterward.

What/who inspires you?

Laura Vanderkam, Ruth Soukup, Amy Lynn Andrews, Tsh Oxenreider, James Clear, Seth Godin

What do you feel most grateful about in your life?

4 healthy boys, an amazing husband, and stable employment

What has been your biggest challenge with blogging?

Balancing how I spend my time on all of the different activities that are involved.

What are your hobbies other than blogging?

At home: reading, baking, gardening, building legos with my boys; outdoor activities such as hiking, camping, and boating

What is your number one tip for other bloggers?

Know your primary purpose and motivation for blogging, make sure it aligns with your core personal values, and get your close friends and family on board. This will enable you to do it for the long run, and help maintain balance in your life.

Items you can’t live without

Can I say my book shelf with all the books on it? And my foam roller, the most essential part of my home gym, because I need it even when I don’t work out. Who knew kids could give you sore muscles!

What and who motivate you to write?

I’m inspired by the moms in my MOPS group, all of whom have pre-school age kids and many of whom are military with frequent deployments. They love on their kids and support each other through all the ups and downs of young motherhood.

There are a lot of books out there about health and fitness, and how to eat less and move more. And I have read a lot of them in my past two experiences losing the baby weight. (I gained 40+ lbs with each of my four boys, and lost it each time – I’m currently halfway through my fourth and final baby weight loss journey.)

You can set up your own home gym with the basics for $50, and get the first 3 books below for $25 total, lose the weight easily over the next 6 months and change your life forever! I believe in you, let me know how it goes! Here is a little about each book and how it will help you.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. Learn more here

Of all the books I read over the past 5 years of losing baby weight over and over again, these are my top 5 all time favorites:

1. – The UltraSimple Diet: Kick-Start Your Metabolism and Safely Lose Up to 10 Pounds in 7 Days, by Mark Hyman

As a practicing physician, in The UltraSimple Diet, Dr. Hyman sets out a simple and effective weight loss regimen that is interesting, easy to follow, and has transformed the lives of thousands of his own patients. The first time I worked at losing the baby weight was after my second boy. About halfway through my progress stalled, I hit a plateau and this book was what got me unstuck. It inspired my daily routine that allowed me to lose the second 20 lbs that time, to get back down to my target of about 140 lbs.

My favorite 4 things about this book and the diet are:

• you can learn one daily routine and 3 recipes, and that iss all you need for the entire week.
• The book is very accessible, and easy to read and he lays out step by step exactly what to do.
• His wholistic approach aligns with my approach to life and my core values. This is shown in the inclusion and emphasis he puts on other facts that nutrition and exercise. Two important parts of the daily routine are journaling and taking a bath in the evening. These activities help your mind and emotions, supporting them in a similar way to what the healthy food is doing for your body that week.
• Exercise is not a prominent part of the diet. The focus is on detoxing and cleansing your system. This is a good place to start, and when I’m really changing how i eat, it’s hard to find time to work out as well. It’s already hard enough to find time to exercise as a mom. I loved that this diet didn’t ask me to do everything, just take a week to focus on certain things and not worry about vigorous exercise. He does encourage you to find time for some yoga or to take a walk. He also says the hot bath is a form of passive exercise. (so if you needed an excuse there it is!)

What The UltraSimple Diet helps you do:

Cleanse your system, reset your eating habits and adjust your palate. You should also see a boost in weight loss, which can encourage and motivate you to keep going.

2. Pilates for Weight Loss: The fast and effective way to lose weight and change your body shape for good, by Lynn Robinson

As you begin to lose weight, it’s good to start doing lower impact physical activity that gets you in touch with your body. Robinson is a well know pilates professional and wrote this wonderful book to help make pilates accessible to beginners, in their own home. I love the way Pilates makes my body feel, and so it helps me feel better about my body, something that is challenging after having a baby.

This book has clear descriptions and color photos. As you learn the different motions, write your favorites down on some index cards to easily keep the handy and remind you of the routines. Since you can do pilates on any soft floor without any equipment, it’s a great 5-10 min activity to relax and recenter yourself when you have a few minutes away from the kids.

What Pilates for Weight Loss helps you do:

• improve your posture, circulation, balance and flexibility
• build lean muscle tissue and relieve stress

As moms, it is a way to have a moment to ourselves, while improving our mental state and helping us rediscover or continue to kindle a positive relationship with our bodies.

3. This is Why You’re Fat (and How to Get Thin Forever), by Jackie Warner

Warner is a successful personal trainer who shares in this book everything she would teach you if she was working with you. She focuses as well on eating healthy food, but in a way that can support vigorous exercise.

She begins by explaining how hormones affect your health and your weight, and how what you eat can cause hormone imbalance in your system. For many of us understanding these kinds of things is the final key we need to changing how we eat.

In her unique food approach you start by adding foods into your diet. You can eat anything you want, but each day what you eat needs to include 2 eggs, 1 cup of oatmeal, 2-3 servings of vegetables, 2 servings of fruit, 1 whey protein shake, water with lemon juice, and some green tea. Eating all of these good foods helps fuel your body and it starts to push the bad foods out of your diet naturally, while allowing you to focus on what you are eating.

She has a few more good food chapters on topics such as why deprivation doesn’t work and how to shop in our modern food environment, and then she gets into detailed chapters about what workouts to do. She focuses on shorter 20 min workouts and explains techniques such as using intervals and power circuits to burn more fat in less time; she includes chapters of diagrams with various workshouts you can do with dumbbells or your body weight. She also covers cool down stretches and includes an appendix with meal plans and recipes.

I used this toward the end of my first baby weight loss journey. As I lost more of the weight I needed to mix up my food plan to keep it interesting, incorporate more exercise in order to avoid plateaus, and build muscle in order to feel better and not just fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

What This Is Why You’re Fat (And How to Get Thin Forever) will do for you:

• change your attitude toward food, and begin the process by focusing on what you should eat
• teach you how to do cardio and strength training quickly and easily from home
• show you how to use equipment in your own home gym on a budget

Start with those three first. Right now you can buy all of those on amazon for a total of $25.

If you’re ready for more, these are great:

4. You On a Diet: The Owner’s Manual for Waist Management, by Michael F. Roisen and Mehmet C. Oz

You On a Diet is a big fun book full of all kinds of interesting material. These two doctors incorporate fun diagrams to illustrate the topics they talk about. This reads more like a textbook in that it has Factoid boxes and you can easily open it and start with any chapter that sounds interesting. They include a section of recipes and exercises along with some science, history, and psychology. I really liked the section of resistance band exercises, and how easy it is to pick it up and read a bit, get something good and come back to it again later.

I also really loved You: Being Beautiful – The Owner’s Manual to Inner and Outer Beauty, by the same authors.

5. Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual, by Michael Pollan

If you are interesting in learning more about nutrition, if you realize you need to adjust and reassess your relationship with food, I highly recommend everything by Michael Pollan, especially The Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food, and Cooked.

Food Rules is a condensed version of the main concepts he shares in In Defense of Food. You can sum up the entire book in three words of advice about what we should consume: “Eat (real) food. Mostly plants. Not too much.”

When it comes to finishing my final baby weight loss journey, moving on with life and finding a balanced approach toward food that will serve my family far into the future, those words are what I intend to guide me. This little book has 64 tips for how to put those phrases into practice. I intend to keep it in my kitchen as a reference and a reminder. If you want a deeper read along these lines, read In Defense of Food. It’s one of those books that makes you change the way you eat, but in a way that makes you feel good about it, and a little bit like it was your idea.

Discovering your core personal values will change your life. Knowing them will enable you to break free from the real or perceived expectations you feel from others, and to find the life that is right for you and your family, to begin to make decisions and prioritize life areas consistently, in a way that takes you toward the goals that really matter to you and your family. For more on why they are important, check out my 6 reasons that you should identify them.

For the next 10 days, pick one of the following life categories each day and journal about two things: past events in that area of life, and then your current circumstances and future goals.

1. Think of a meaningful or emotionally charged event in your past related to that topic. Focus on times you were happy, proud, or feeling especially fulfilled and content about the outcome. Ask yourself what you were trying to accomplish and what you wanted to avoid. Why was the experience meaningful? Is there anything about it you miss or would like to repeat? Reflect and write down what you remember, and then look for any words that sum up your feelings in a word or phrase.
2. Reflect on what that category of life is like for you in your current season. What do you like about it? What do you wish could be different? What are your hopes or dreams? What goals would you like to set? What would you like this part of your life to look like in 5 years?

This exercise is broken up into small pieces to encourage you that it can fit into a hectic life, and that you don’t have to find a chunk of time in order to get to it. If you have the time however, you can do as many categories at once as you have time for. Then just pick up where you left off. If you don’t know how you’ll find time for it, just do one category each morning or evening. You really can work on value discovery in 10-15 min a day.

Here are the 10 categories, with some questions to get you started.

Recreation and Hobbies

How did I play when I was a kid?
What do I find refreshing?

Physical Stewardship

What does fit and healthy mean for me and my body?
When in my life did I feel the most healthy and fit? When did I feel at peace with my body even though I was less fit?

Living Environment and Pace of Life

What is my favorite place I have lived in? What did I love about it?
What words do I want to describe my home [link to post]

Family and Children

What ideas did I have about family when I was young? How has that changed?
What do I want our family culture to be?

Marriage

When I was young, what did I look forward to about marriage?
What are the primary gifts and strengths that I bring to my marriage?

Personal Development

When have I felt like I was stuck or stagnating? What made me feel that way?
When have I felt alive and thriving? Why did I feel happy and fulfilled?

Financial Stewardship

How do I feel about how i’ve used money in the past?
What do I want money to enable me to do?

Work and Professional Development

What was a job I’ve had that I loved? Why did I feel that way?
What is essential for me to flourish in a career?

Church and Spiritual Life

What meaningful experiences have I had at church in the past?
How do I contribute to the church?

Community and Social Stewardship

What was a time in the past that I felt like I really belonged with a group?
What are characteristics of friendships that have been the most meaningful to me?

Bringing it all together

What stuck out to you as you reflected on these questions? Were there any recurring themes that kept coming back up? What made you smile when you recalled the memory? Did anything make you anxious?

Once you’ve gone through all 10 life categories and made notes about meaningful events from the past, and your life now, go through and look for common themes, and take all of the words and phrases you identified as important and make a list of them.

At this point you might want to refer to this master list of popular values. Look through and circle all of the words that came up in your notes. You may find groups of related words that you like. Identify all of those and then see if there are one or two that you like the most, that best represent that idea for you.

Finetune your notes into 5-10 ideas and then find a time to talk to your husband about them. Get his thoughts on the values you’ve identified. He’ll be able to help you personalize these for your family, and he’ll have his own details to add that will make these shared values and unique to your family.

Submit this form to get this post as a printable worksheet, with 20 bonus questions included:

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Discovering your core values will help you to

• prioritize your time and commitments
• make decisions and set goals
• invest in the right relationships
• be confident in your lifestyle and daily routines

You’ll also get exclusive weekly content and access to the private Facebook group for help applying your values to real life.Your first name
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