Business Archives | Alicia Eichmann

How to Find Your Voice this Summer

I think it’s incredibly powerful to slow down and question the purpose of everything, to be sure that you have your own intent behind the activities that you are doing.

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Hey beautiful,

Has your summer been restful so far? I love how the pace of everything has been slower, and I’ve been using the time to do a lot of soul searching. Unfortunately that usually leads to a lot of journaling and thinking, but less time writing and blogging. But I have been developing the habit of sharing small posts on Facebook.

I keep thinking I need to create a content schedule to help me get back on track with a regular posting schedule. But then I realize I am doing the foundational work of finding clarity about my identity and my mission and I’m finding that that just can’t be rushed.

If you’re finding yourself digging deeper into who you are and what you really want to do, I want to encourage you to embrace that process.

I think sometimes we have seasons in life where we wake up and realize we’ve been going through the motions, doing all the obligatory things, letting people and life just rush us along through everything.

I think it’s incredibly powerful to slow down and question the purpose of everything, to be sure that you have your own intent behind the activities that you are doing. And when you find yourself asking ‘why’, why am I even doing x or y or z, if you don’t find a satisfactory answer that lines up with your values and aligns with a fresh vision for your life, give yourself permission to stop doing those things.

Allow yourself to outgrow things that no longer serve who you’re becoming, or where you are in your life now. Sometimes even people, places and activities need to be downmoted in priority when you are deciding how to spend your time, money and energy.

And that’s okay.

With YouTube videos and online courses as a solid second, my favorite way by far to push myself forward in personal growth and finding my way in life, is to read books and capture my thoughts in my journal.

I’ve always prioritized non-fiction, personal development, spirituality, psychology, business. But recently I’ve heard several teachers and authors I respect encouraging us to also read fiction, biography, history, not just self-help. So I’m taking that seriously.

(And as soon as I decided to read some fiction, not knowing at all where to start, one of you recommended a book and offered to send me a copy. I’m accepting that my life is like that now. When you truly begin to seek and live in alignment with the goodness of the Universe and God’s divine purposes, and your own truth, when you are ready for the next thing, it just shows up. Our upcoming home purchase is a great example, I’ll be sharing that story in the facebook group soon.)

I’ve found that the right book always shows up next, whether it’s mentioned in a book I’m reading, shows up in amazon as similar to recent purchases, is recommended by a friend, or draws my attention when I’m browsing Barnes and Noble. I’ve come increasingly serious about paying attention and being open to what I might read next.

I started reading Mastery, by Robert Greene recently and he talks about how those who become great at something, go through the process of giving themselves a self-apprenticeship in a topic that captivates them. The way he talks about it makes me think of how James Hillman talks in The Soul’s Code about the way each of us has a soul that will draw us toward our destiny through interests that naturally and intrinsically fascinate and captivate us.

That’s been true for me with books and learning. I keep trying to find the common thread, the core topic that runs through all of the books and information that I love to read and share with you all.

I started out my membership focused on sharing from books, a book a week, in a methodical book-based way, but now that I’ve done that for a month, I found I needed to keep searching for a theme, something I could consistently speak to and be known for. Something that would organize my own thoughts and be a filter for what I share.

Through the books and authors and videos and personal life stories, whatever I might share, I want there to be a clear theme that I always help you with so that you know what you can always expect to get, and you can come check out my writing when you feel the need for that thing, and when friends are talking about that, you can recommend my stuff.

Way too many people are generalists, trying to cover too many topics. I’ve known that, and that I didn’t want to fall into the same trap. But it’s taken me years to dial down into my unique space, which I think is a testament to why so many don’t, because it is really hard. Steven Pressfield says in Do the Work, that when you ask yourself that simple, clear question of your work, “what is this really about”, he says that is the thorniest nut to crack.

My Core Theme

What I’ve got so far is this sense that everything I look at, I see spiritual depth to it. And sometimes that is my favorite part of an author’s work or of an idea, and sometimes it is the crucial thing that I feel is missing, that I think would take whatever it is, to the next level. It would add an important dimension to the discussion or to the application of the concept, whatever it is.

I was walking across the parking lot to the grocery story last week and I was thinking about an example and had this sudden, strong sense, of ‘yeah, that is important!’ and ‘why doesn’t everyone see this?’ As I was thinking about how I don’t see anyone covering quite that thing in quite the way I would, it dawned on me that that must be it. That layer I see is what I need to speak to.

So I’ve set my intention to look everywhere for that layer I see, to begin to define it, and get feedback from you all both about what it is – how to describe it – and how it helps you practically in your life.

I think the essence of it for me right now is finding the spiritual depth in everything and integrating that truth and feeling to whatever we are talking about – especially the practical, every day stuff.

Rob Bell would say (as he does in What We Talk About When We Talk About God) that it’s about marrying the mundane and the sacred, removing the false separation there, pursuing a holistic integrated approach to our lives.

This has gotten me thinking about the strategies that most helped me get to the point of finding that unique layer this summer, that focus that would really allow me to find my voice.

You’ve still got time left this summer to take advantage of the slower pace and extra down time to listen to yourself and reflect on where you are compared to who you are at your core and where you truly want to be.

A few things stand out as the most helpful and I wanted to share them with you.

3 Tips for Finding Yourself and Your Voice

1. Align with your future self

When I learned, with help from Morgana McCabe Allan, to take time to look into the future and envision my future self and then allow that vision to speak to me, I gained an immensely valuable tool that I want you to understand and utilize as well.

You can visualize who you are becoming, and when you really feel into that future reality, you begin to train your brain both consciously and subconsciously to look for ways to make it happen. And I think a really powerful practical application of this concept is learning to live in alignment with that vision now.

One example of that for me is really unplugging and relaxing (mentally not physically lol) when my husband and I took our 4 boys camping a few times this summer. Part of my future vision for our family is the freedom to have outdoor adventures. So when we do the version of that that we can afford to do now, I choose to fully embrace the experience, and be thankful for it and treasure all of the experience, being present and joyful, in alignment with how I envision my future self – who is of course more successful, wise and carefree – how she would enjoy her off time with family. I’m also doing this with my visions for being a writer, homeschooling my boys, and improving my physical health.

There is incredible power in considering who you want to be, and taking every opportunity to at least mentally begin to live in that reality. The rest of life will then get on board with your vision and conspire to make it happen.

2. Consider what you love

Another thing I’ve found incredibly powerful and informative is really diving deep into your desires. Allow yourself to go there.

What makes you truly happy? Which activities make your heart sing? What is it about them that you love? What is your favorite part of it? What are you precisely doing in that moment where you feel at one with your soul, at peace with the universe? When do you find yourself in the flow and losing track of time?

These questions are drawn from the line of questioning that Gay Hendricks uses in The Big Leap to find your zone of genius. They are also inline with the idea of having a soul, a true self, with a destiny imprinted on it. I believe that we each have a sense of destiny and knowing, that we need to uncover.

Do we discover ourselves or create ourselves? I believe it is one and the same. Our modern culture and mode of coming to adulthood causes us to lose a sense of self, of true identity and unqiueness. Through the process of coming of age we too often lose our sense of unique desire for that which lights us up. But at any time we can choose to recover it and begin to live in alignment with our core design. We discover who we truly are and create a life in alignment with the truth of who we are and how we are wired. Within your desires are the call of the divine on your life. A good resource for discovering your core desired feelings is The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte. Identifying how you want to feel, as well as which kinds of activities speak to you on a primal level, these kinds of self-discovery can help you uncover a sense of joy that you may have lost or muffled.

The point here is to take time to examine yourself and discover what makes you truly happy. What do you want? What brings you joy? What do you desire to have in your life?

3. Find the common thread

What do you always see in everything? What is most fascinating to you, and what do you see is often missing? What bugs you when it gets left out, and why is it important?

Once you’ve worked on understanding who you are and what you want, look around at the world around you and ask yourself what stands out to you.

What do you most want to speak to, contribute to, or change? Where do you see a need that no one is addressing, or where someone is helping but with a crucial component missing?

Begin to watch and think, and journal and take notes. Begin to keep track of those pieces that spark your interest, and they will start to form a common thread that will point you to a unique contribution that you could take great joy in devoting a season of your life to.

I’d love to hear if this was helpful and if you’d like for me to go deeper on this or related topics.

With all my love,
Alicia

What I’m Excited About

Ryan Holiday released pre-order bonuses for his Oct release, Stillness is the Key .
Bo Eason is giving early access to his book, There is No Plan B for Your A Game , to those who pre-order it.
I’m giving up desserts for good as part of who I’m becoming, and I’m about 2 weeks in and feeling good about the long term commitment.
I’m wrapping up a training series I got from Gabrielle Bernstein about being a spiritual teacher and it was amazing.
I’m adding amazon affiliate links to my book references in my blog posts, so that you can support me in this way if you would like.

What I’m Reading
Mastery, by Robert Greene
There is No Plan B for Your A Game, by Bo Eason
The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron
The Science of Self-Empowerment, by Gregg Braden
A Course in Weight Loss, by Marianne Williamson
The Tapping Solution, by Nick Ortner With all my love,

News from My Life
We’re moving! Across town at the end of August, to be closer to my husband’s work and his family.

Next on Alicia’s Soul Adventure
I’m working on a new framework for it that is topic-based instead of book-based. Stay tuned! If you’re not a member yet, click below for more info.

How to Dismantle Your ‘Upper Limit’: 3 Truths for Removing Limiting Beliefs

Books, Business, Self Care

When I read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and his concepts of the Upper Limit and the Zone of Genius, I found these ideas revolutionary, and his practical advice incredibly powerful, yet it also raised questions it didn’t answer, at least for me. I finished the book moved and inspired, yet still missing something critical I needed to resolve before I could move forward and truly remove my hidden barriers (limiting beliefs) and embrace my own zone of Genius.

I was grateful to him for bringing us this far, and giving us these concepts and terminology to build on. But I began to look elsewhere for further insight on how to truly address the hidden barriers at their fundamental level. Because upon first really digesting all of these concepts I found myself feeling freedom in understanding them, but also not feeling immediately liberated from these limiting beliefs. I needed something more to help me to truly receive and internalize them.

I kept asking myself:

How do we stop feeling fundamentally flawed and realize we are worthy?

How do we internalize the truth that by becoming more fully ourselves we will lift others up, not leave them behind?

How do we truly get past feeling like a burden when we are successful and happy, or trying to be?

How do I free myself from the crime of outshining others, that I’ve felt since my youth?

I knew that once I had answered these, I could circle back around to his zone of Genius, and his intriguing thoughts about the nature of time. I needed to find true peace with being happy and successful, with fulfilling my potential, before I could move forward with his steps for finding and living in my zone of Genius.

After about a dozen books, I found my answer in The Power of Intention, by Wayne Dyer. For some reason the way he talked about it just clicked for me. Here is my attempt to explain the three truths that came together for me, and that I’m eager to share with you now that I’ve found them.

#1 You are a Divine Creation and Share the Divine Nature

The first big truth in the book builds on the fact that you are a divine creation, and the same spirit that is Intention is also in you. He lists seven primary characteristics of Intention which are creativity, kindness, love, beauty, ever-expansive, unlimited abundance, and receptivity, and he says the divine energy of the Universe that is all of these things is also in you, and you function based on these same rules and are heir to these same characteristics.

He gives examples from nature, etc. Basically just as this spirit resides in nature and exhibits inherent beauty and is always growing and expanding, so too we have this spirit in us and we also inherently embody beauty and are designed to be constantly growing and expanding, and loving, showing kindness, being creative, etc.

Dyer says that as you awaken to your divine nature, you’ll see beauty everywhere, and “the creative Spirit brings things into the world of boundaries to thrive and flourish and expand. And it wouldn’t do so were it not infatuated with the beauty of every manifested creature, including you.” (pg 51)

When you are connected to God, to the field of Intention, to the divine energy and spirit which is your Source, you see the characteristics of Intention, of Spirit, everywhere you look.

He goes on to talk about expansion and gardens, and says

“The all emerging universal force that intended you into beingness and commences all life is always growing, and perpetually expanding. As with all seven of these faces of intention, by reason of its universality, it must have a common nature with yours. By being in an ever-expanding state and growing intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, you’re identifying with the universal mind.”
Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention, page 52

Do you see how once we really get that we are part of spirit, intended by it, flowing from it, connected to it, once we get that, and then we consider its nature we have to accept the same truths as our nature too?

God is love. So are we. The universal mind is kind. So are we. The life force of nature is always expanding and growing. So do we. And Intention is endlessly abundant, and so are we.

That was the first big truth. The second is that you are infinite.

#2 You are an Infinite Spiritual Being

Dyer explains that we “emerged from a universal field of Creation” that he is calling intention. We are from something that is infinite, and thus our true nature is infinite. He explains that the life we see is temporary, but what is true is infinity and that our connection with Intention (God, the Universe) connects to everything that is infinite.

You are an infinite being, having a human experience.

He says “this is an enormous inner shift that eliminates fear of death and connects you permanently to the infinite Source of Creation that intends everything from the world of infinite Spirit into a finite world.

Understanding this at first is difficult, part of your mind (your ego) will resist it, but the other part of your mind (your soul) knows this and recognizes it as truth.

You are an infinite being, having a human experience.

This understanding removes the fear of death and the grip of the ego. When you receive it, it will truly shift your overarching framework in how you think about life. When I read this part of the book (chapter 6) I could feel something shift in my thinking, and my thoughts and emotions are different now about life and death, meaning and purpose.

When you truly ‘get’ this you will be a serious step closer to owning your personal power, because death will have no hold over you.

#3 You are a Piece of God

This is arguably the same as number one above, but I found an important distinction I want to make here. Dyer talks about being a host vs a hostage. We are conditioned by the world to be a hostage to our ego, but when we choose instead to be a host to God, this means “always seeing your authentic connection to your Source”, knowing you cannot be disconnected, and enjoying an eternal connection to the Source, which is God, the divine nature in you.

The point is going to be that this results in self respect. I want to include a short passage from him on this, because I love how he relates it personally from his own experience and his thoughts about writing the book.

“As I write here each morning, I feel that I’m receiving words and ideas from the power of intention, which allows me to bring these words to this page. I trust in this Source to provide me with the words; therefor I’m trusting in the Source that brought me into this physical world. I’m eternally connected to this Source.
This awareness simply doesn’t include a lack of respect for intending this book into form. The conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m worthy of my intention to write this book and have it published and in your hands today. In other words, I respect the piece of God that I am. I tap in to the power of intention, and my feeling of respect for it enhances my respect for myself.”
So, by loving and respecting yourself, you’re hosting God and inviting the energy of Creation to your consciousness, to your daily life, as you connect to the power of intention.”
– Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention, pg 135

I think there is true freedom in this for us if we choose to receive it. It’s time to throw off false pride, and fake humility and concerns about ego or worthiness, and boldly accept our identity as daughters of God, and divine beings.

As Marianne Williamson says, “The world needs healing desperately, like a bird with a broken wing. People know this, and millions have prayed. God heard us. He sent help. He sent you.

It’s time to get over ourselves, accept our connection to spirit, our identity as spiritual, infinite beings, inspired by God, and boldly offer to the world the gift that has been given us for them.

You are worthy to be awesome, you are equipped with awesomeness. Receive the truth about who you are and receive the truth that in order to walk in this place, this calling, this truth of who you are, you need to reject the limiting belief that you’re flawed or unworthy or a burden, and that you’re going to leave others behind or somehow make them feel bad.

It is time instead to repeat Gay Hendricks’ mantra “I expand in abundance, success, and love everyday, as inspire those around me to do the same.

This is your purpose, this is your calling. Expand, grow, love, extend beauty, joy, peace, whatever your gift or skillset is, offer it to the world in a spirit of love and power, knowing that you are a divine creation, an infinite spiritual being, a piece of God.

7 Ways to Create Room in Your Life for Meaningful Work (as a millennial mom)

Books, Business, Parenting, Self Care

For us as moms deep work can be incredibly elusive, but I’m committed to finding a way to carve out time for meaningful, creative activities. I finally finished reading Deep Work, by Cal Newport, and while his paradigm is that of a male professor and he talks in terms of being an office knowledge worker, I found quite a few useful gems we can apply to this pursuit as women.

In the first few chapters he defends the necessity and value of deep work. I had already accepted his premise but found his evidence both interesting and compelling.

His first big point is that deep work is valuable but not commonly valued or prioritized today, and that this provides us with an opportunity. I think this is even more true as moms. We all have similar struggles and questions, but most of us will not create the time needed to do deep creative work generating and sharing the solutions.

Here are my 5 biggest takeaways from the book, which I found greatly helpful and encouraging, and I hope will assist you too in finding room for deep and meaningful work, and resisting the lie that for us this practice is somehow intrinsically out of reach.

1. See How Craftsmanship Provides Meaning

In the section where he gives a philosophical argument for depth, he mentions All Things Shining by Dreyfus and Kelly, which is now on my reading list. In it they explore “how notions of sacredness and meaning have evolved throughout the history of human culture.”

He goes on to say that these authors are worried about a diminishment in our current time of sacred, shining things. Ever since Descartes we have moved away from the idea of “a God or king bestowing truth” and given that role to the individual.

He goes on, “For all its good in the political arena, in the domain of the metaphysical this thinking stripped the world of the order and sacredness essential to create meaning. In a post-Enlightenment world we have tasked ourselves to identify what’s meaningful and what’s not, an exercise that can seem arbitrary and induce a creeping nihilism.” ( pg 87)

That is a whole thing it would be good to get into another time, but I think at a basic level we all know and feel exactly what he is talking about, and the point he makes from this is that craftsmanship, and the deep work that accompanies it, has innate value we can feel, even when there is so much we don’t know, or at least that feeling that too many important things are up for debate.

He argues that no matter your job, career, vocation, etc that you can find ways to see it as your craft, and that having the attitude that comes with craftsmanship will bring meaning into your life in a fundamental way.

I love this, I found it intriguing and helpful and I’m trying to figure out how to apply it to motherhood, but I do know that it helps explain why I love writing. Writing is my craft. A well-written piece of work soothes something in me that longs for beauty, for truth, for meaning.

2. Take a ‘Journalistic Approach’ to Scheduling Deep Work

He provides several methods for approaching deep work in relation to integrating it into your schedule. As a mom I found the journalistic one to be intriguing and the only one that’s really practical given the responsibilities of running a household. This basically means rather than withdrawing from society, or taking weekends, or working for a couple hours at the same time everyday, you fit in time regularly as you go. In this scheduling method he says you must be mindful of the energy it takes to switch from shallow to deep mode, as it can sap your willpower, and he says it requires “a sense of confidence in your abilities – a conviction that what you’re doing is important and will succeed.”

I find it deeply gratifying to know that I can assume the same schedule as he does as a professor, because he too has obstacles to working at the same time every day, in a consistent daily routine. But he basically warns that this is not for the novice or the faint of heart. I’ll need to manage my energy, and sense of necessity, that through my writing I’m doing important work that needs to routinely finished and published, to contribute value to the world.

3. Our Daily Capacity for Deep Work is 4 Hours

He talks at length about how to remove some of the shallow activity from your schedule to make room for deep work, but he says our capacity for deep work is really only 4 hours a day. We’re only trying to make room for 4 hours of focused, intense work that will move the needle on important projects.

I found this incredibly encouraging and reassuring. I know from logging my time in the past that when you are mindful you can often find an hour or two, and careful planning can typically create an hr or two more, for something that’s really important to you.

I may have kids and a house to clean, but also don’t have staff meetings or a boss. I completely set my own schedule. If I find room for close to 4 hours of deep work most weekdays I’ll have created the time resources that he proscribes. I’m certainly not there yet, but I’m struck by the idea that this is totally doable for me, if I choose to be disciplined and motivated.

4. Mental Rest = Subconscious Productivity

As a mom I found this one incredibly encouraging, and validating. It’s something I’ve sort of started doing naturally as a result of practicing gratitude and working on being present with my kids.

He says the research shows that when you fully unplug mentally from work in between deep work sessions, your subconscious does valuable work. It productively works through ideas and issues for you, at a different level and in a different way than when you consciously tackle a problem.

As I move forward and get better at my current method of time blocking, I am going to embrace the truth that when I research and ideate for an hour, stop to take my kids to the park, make lunch, and then come back to a solid afternoon writing session, if I fully rest my mind and relax and enjoy playing with my kids, this is both healthy for my psyche and productive for the project at hand.

Our brains are so incredible, they are always active on some level. When we try to consciously work through a problem when we are either mentally fatigued or in an non-conducive environment full of interruptions, we are embracing the lie that only our conscious mind can solve it and neglecting to enlist the aid of our subconscious mind in working on it while we tend to other important but often less noble-feeling activities.

5. Try Productive Meditation

As he talks about being purposeful about leisure and off time, he talks both about resting your mind, and also looking for opportunities for deep thought work, to practice something he calls productive meditation. Similar but different to mindful meditation, this is when you are doing a physical activity and you use the time to mentally work over a particular issue in your mind. What matters here is staying focused on that specific question, and bringing your mind back to it if it starts to wander or loop unproductively.

I’ve already found myself doing this some times, but now I feel I have terminology and a framework for this. I can think about how and when to strategically fit this in, and consider it deep thought time, always being mindful to pay attention to when I can tell I need a mental rest instead.

I now feel equipped with two good uses for all that extra time watching kids and feeling unoccupied but ‘on call’. One is to truly rest my mind and enjoy my children. The other, which is great for exercising or doing housework is productive meditation, where a physical activity is devoted to a specific, strategic mental exercise. For me this will most often be either working out the outline and flow of a post, or thinking more broadly about ideas in my recent reading and how they interact with other ideas to help form a new paradigm for how we think about life.

6. Embrace Being Active and Feeling Alive All Day

This is a good one. I really like where he talks about how we don’t understand human nature, when we resist structuring our leisure time. Humans actually love to feel alive and be active 18 hours a day. He quotes another author who says what energizes the human spirit is change, not rest. Giving your mind meaningful things throughout the day makes you more fulfilled. The mind fatigues from prolonged attention to one thing or in one mode.

Of course this is huge for moms. I’ve really been struggling and wrestling with the question of whether I should embrace just being on my feet all day, and focus on finding a few short breaks to recharge, instead of complaining or wishing for a life with more so called rest or down time.

So this belief that humans are meant to be active all day and that we simply need to be intentional in our choosing and then vary our activities really resonates with me and increases my hope that I’ll find a way forward that allows me to incorporate all of my highest values, without having to compromise something truly important to me.

7. Assess Your Attention to Social Media

He has a follow up book called Digital Minimalism, that I want to read which is devoted to this topic. But his advice on it in Deep Work is pretty straightforward. With social media, he talks about identifying your highest priority activities that move you toward your few biggest personal and professional goals, and then look at how social media adds or takes away from that.

I’m undecided on this, I think for many of us who spend a lot of time at home social media provides a value connection to friends and community. And for those of us who work for ourselves social media provides a value way to generate business and communicate with both clients and prospects.

My current approach is going to be to focus on the other strategies, and continue to streamline my life and business that allows room for deep, meaningful work, and then once I’ve consistently done that, look at how social media is a useful tool for distribution and discussion of what will hopefully be deeply meaningful ideas and insights that arise from this endeavor, new or re-worked ideas that really help us in our lives in some way, because that’s the whole point.

The Key to Expanding to Your Full Potential

Books, Business, Self Care

An Introduction to your Upper Limit and your Zone of Genius

A partial summary of The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks

How do you celebrate a big win, or a perfect moment? What do you do when you are in one of those precious mountaintop experiences? What we tend to do in the moment is to sabotage it. We get the high, and then we immediately do something to lessen the experience or the joy we get from it.

For some reason a memory that sticks in my mind is a rare opportunity a couple of years ago when my oldest son and I went to a baseball game together, just the two of us. We got some hot dogs, were enjoying the game, the weather was perfect, the stands weren’t crowded. The moment was perfect. And then we decided to get ice cream, because it was an opportunity to get dippin dots. A few minutes after eating them we both didn’t feel good and my son was so distracted by his stomach feeling unhappy that we left, really early. In the middle of the perfect weather and the non-crowded stands and the rare occasion for just he and I to hang out, just be together in such a perfect setting. But I knew enough to tell the spell was broken, he was unhappy, we might as well go home.

I could tell you other stories from my life. Once I understood the Upper Limit, I started to recognize my behavior of self-sabotaging myself in those moments of perfect happiness. Since I’ve learned about my Upper Limit, I’ve become much happier more consistently, because I learned about an obstacle to my happiness, and how to recognize and overcome it. Most importantly, I have a radar in my head that watches for those moments where I’m really happy, and reminds me to savor the moment, and to really question anything I seek to add to it.

What is the Upper Limit? It’s the main premise in a book called The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks. From years of research and experience of his own and with his clients, he concludes that we each have a kind of ‘set point’ for our happiness and that we are not used to being happier than that level, so much so that when we raise our happiness to that level, we will do something to sabotage ourselves and bring ourselves back down to a level where we are comfortable. This is mostly subconscious, but you can learn to recognize it.

This affect often shows up when you are starting to have success in multiple areas of your life. Unless you dismantle your Upper Limit, when you have financial success, you will sabotage yourself in the area of relationships, or vice versa. It also shows up in small everyday events. A good example is when you’ve prepared for a party or a dinner and everyone is hanging out, and then you have the urge to go get one more thing, or run to the store for something. Is it really necessary, or are you just avoiding sitting still and receiving the good that wants to come into your life?

Your Upper Limit will keep you from living in your Zone of Genius which is his other big supporting concept in the book. You’ve probably heard this phrase used recently, it’s gaining traction because it’s a fun, powerful idea that evokes an emotional reaction. But people often talk about genius similar to passion, as if you just need to find it.

But your Zone of Genius is something you need to fight for. Hendricks identifies four zones; he says we each have a zone of incompetence, of competence, of excellence, and of genius, and that the temptation is to stay in our Zone of Excellence because that is where we are successful, and predictable; people can count on us. But he says if we don’t make the leap to the Zone of Genius, something precious inside of us will die.

The key to making the leap is removing your Upper Limit. This is done in two basic ways. The first is to identify your key limiting beliefs. He identifies four primary ones and calls them hidden barriers. The second is an ongoing process of reconditioning yourself and changing your thinking; he provides a great list of practical strategies for doing this.

So what are the limiting beliefs, the 4 hidden barriers he identifies? These are reasons that we believe we cannot expand to our full potential. They are: feeling fundamentally flawed, avoiding disloyalty and abandonment, believing that more success brings a bigger burden, and a concern around outshining others.

Here are the sentences he gives that represent the unconscious beliefs. He says everyone has at least one, some people have a few. For myself and everyone I’ve talked to, at least one of these jumps off the page at you.

I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me. (ie. I’m not worthy of it)

I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people in my past.

I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now.

I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine others and make them look or feel bad.

Having laid the groundwork, he calls it the ‘root structure’ of the Upper Limit, he says, “Your Upper Limit Problem lives in the moment-by-moment interactions you have with yourself and the people around you. There is only one way to get this data, and that is to focus your keen awareness on specific aspects of your daily life.” (pg 61)

For the ongoing process – he calls it a ‘lifelong pursuit’ – of removing your upper limit, he provides a list of common behaviors to watch for: worry, criticism and blame, deflecting, squabbling, getting sick or hurt, hiding significant feelings, not keeping agreements not speaking significant truths to the relevant people.

His approach here is to look at each of these behaviors when they occur, to ask yourself what they are really about, and challenge yourself to embrace and receive abundance, success and love in your life, and reject these behaviors when they come up, along with the mental thoughts that created them.

Your goal through this ongoing activity is to expand your capacity for abundance, love and success.

After establishing all of this, he goes on in the second half of the book to talk about how to find and live in your zone of genius.

For more on how to dismantle the four hidden barriers read my next post on this, How to Dismantle Your Upper Limit: 3 Truths for Removing Limiting Beliefs

Finding time to get in the zone

Business, Creativity

If you run a business or just a household, or both, but also have some creative work that you do regularly that requires getting in the ‘zone’ I think you’ll appreciate this Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule article by Paul Graham that I discovered this week (it was in Amy Lynn Andrew’s Useletter, which is one of the few newsletters I actually read most weeks). This puts into words something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time, and finally deciding recently to put into practice. As a manager I can have meetings or deal with small details, juggle, multi-task, etc. And those are all things that need to happen. But as a writer, which is my version of ‘making’ or creating, I need to find blocks of time when I get really get in the zone and get lost in thought and the creative process. That is where the magic happens.

In the above article the author talks about how the different schedules operate out of different mindsets. I would say they also operate with different energy. And it’s not good vs bad, it’s just significantly different.

I am prepared to argue at length about the incredible value of the maker’s schedule and the creative process, and the necessity for depth in our world today, on so many levels. But I’m currently reading Deep Work, by Cal Newport so I’ll leave that for an upcoming post about the topic.

My kids just interrupted me for help with something on their nintendo switch, so I just want to say that I know for us moms that finding time to go deep and be in the zone feels daunting, but I believe it is achievable without stress, although it will be a process to get there. More on that later too.

So anyway, my point for the moment, after re-reading to see where I was, is that to do the creative work on our plates, we need to block out some time and treat it differently than the rest of the time when we do all of the managing. I love that in the article, he says that makers ‘prefer to use time in units of half a day at least’ and that an hour is ‘barely enough time to get started’. I wanted to yell ‘thank you! yes!’ at the computer screen when I read this on Monday.

My personal conclusion is that I need to unapologetically block out 2-4 hours a few times a week and work my life around that. I’ve found that I end up pushing my life into that schedule sometimes because I feel deep down that I need it. “Yes, you can watch 3 more episodes and eat goldfish for lunch if I can just stay in the zone for another hour!” If you’re a mom you know what I’m talking about, and if you have found your creative expression you’ve done this in some area of life.

What I’m proposing is that we more intentionally prioritize, and just generally make room for, the maker’s flow in our life, the creative energy that requires time to take a bit of a back seat while we tap into that divine energy inside us that manifests every time we’re doing our life’s work, that feeling you get when you get in the flow, lose track of time, write something and re-read it and think ‘wow, this is great, who wrote that, did I just write that, this is sweet, exactly what I was feeling, and I finally got it out’, etc.

And I think that thinking in terms of the manager’s schedule and maker’s schedule is a good way to help us reassess how we budget our time and schedule our days.

Reflections on marketing formulas and when to buy online courses

Business, Marketing

Today I’m thinking about all the formulas that are out there being taught. And I want to help you change your approach and your perspective on them. These teachers tried a lot of things, and then something worked for them, and they became successful. Their success attracted attention and questions, and then they realized people would pay to learn how to be successful the same way they did.

It is a powerful and valid principle to study those who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, but I see too much of success being boiled down to specific formulas and then sold, and then people paying for the formula and then following it (or not) and perhaps having some initial success (or not).

What you need to know is that business success is about so much more than a specific marketing formula.

First, the formula itself may be valid but it needs to match you. What are your goals, your business model, your personality, your lifestyle requirements? Not every formula will work for you, or necessarily produce the kind of success that is right for you.

Second, you need to build your character if you want to have success. Focus, persistence, hard work, creativity, discipline – these are the kinds of traits you will need to cultivate, and you will need them in varying degrees depending on who you are and what you are trying to do.

The point I want to make here is that none of these marketing courses talk about the underlying character disciplines that are necessary to truly implement these formulas over time in a way that they will work if they are in fact the right process for you.

Third, the best way forward is to learn from others but focus on creating your own customized strategy or formula, that you use and tweak until you find what works for you.

I see two good options in discovering the right marketing strategy for you. The first is to follow the online teachers and buy their courses and follow their podcasts and read their blog posts – and think critically about them. Compare them to each other, ask yourself what they are telling you that is about the technical tools or the nature of the online world, and what is from their experience. Consider what character qualities they exhibit. And then once you’ve done your research and learned a lot of good information, take a season of time to shut it all out and focus on yourself and your business.

If you want to keep learning, focus on personal development stuff that will help you be the person you need to be, to run the business you want to have.

And get creative. And start building your own custom marketing strategy. Find what you love, find what they need. Make it match your lifestyle needs, and make sure it puts you working with the kind of people you want to do life with. Sketch out a basic plan, and as soon as the core idea is formed, start doing it. Then learn from that, look at how it is or is not authentic to you.

As your business model takes shape, and you do marketing activity, does it feel good to you? Do you like how you are spending your days? Are you getting any engagement? Don’t worry about getting a lot of response online at first, because you want. But if you see hints of the right kinds, and your daily and weekly activities resonate with you, at your core, then just keep working your plan, and adjusting as you go.

This is what I’ve done. This will be one of the posts I’ll point to when people ask later how I became successful, which course did I follow, which formula worked. And I can tell them how often I posted and where, but I’ll tell them that won’t matter to them.

What truly matters in making a marketing strategy that will bring you the success you’re seeking is to learn the basics of what is available and possible online, and then to search your heart and your mind to discover what you want to do with the possibilities. The other thing I’d tell them that matters immensely is to embark on a serious personal development journey, and to go wide and deep with it. But that’s a post for another day.

I mentioned that there are two options for discovering the right marketing strategy for you and your business. The first is the process I just outlined of doing the research and then applying it to yourself. The second is basically the same but with a strategic shortcut: hire a coach.

You could hire a marketing coach to help you do this process more effectively, and authentically. As a coach they help you identify important details about what you really want for yourself and your business. And as a marketer they have a ton of knowledge about what is possible and the big ideas and formulas that have been put out there, which means working with them saves you a ton of time and money in doing the research to get the bigger picture than just one teacher or one course. They bring their knowledge of marketing and passion to help people, and develop a relationship with you and become a partner with you in your journey toward personal success. They help you identify and pursue your goals, keeping you on the right track as you try things to see both what works for you, and what you want for yourself and your business.

This is what I do, and this is why I do what I do. If you are looking for a marketing coach, I’d love to get on a free call with you to explore what you truly need, and see if we are a good fit to work together. You’ll find a link below this post to schedule a discovery call.

But the most important thing that I want you to know, is that there is an amazing world of opportunity online, and that the most powerful thing you can do is creatively design a unique approach and angle that fits you and that will stand out in the marketplace.

You do this not by following cookie cutter instructions, but by doing a) further research online, and b) a lot of soul searching, and then when you begin to find something that speaks to you, you work hard at it, and when you love it and you’re motivated, you really begin to build the character disciplines that will enable you to go the distance and make tangible progress toward your big goals and dreams.

When you do this right, you won’t have time for netflix and magazines and surfing the web anymore. But you know what? You won’t miss it.

You can have a focused, purposeful, authentic life around building a profitable business that you love. But the road to get you there is so much more complex than buying a single expensive course and following all of the steps.

I told myself that this year I would tell you the honest truth from my heart, to help you know the true path to success.

And this is what was on my heart today, so my challenge to you is to dream big, and to find the courage to write your own story. Learn from others, but embrace the journey of finding your own path. Once you find it, you’ll know, and you’ll never look back.

To your future,
Alicia